And yes I was around for all that, thats why I have more effective ways of protecting against massive market collapse
Day #28 - Slept in a bit, after a very busy weekend. Started the day off in a good frame of mind with a winning trade. A trade I just took automatically, hardly even thinking about it. Of interest, the trade was over with and a profit booked... and then when I started to think about it... that is when I felt the adrenaline kick in a bit. I could feel it going into my body... and I was thinking, what the heck, I am not even in a trade. The rest of the day I just couldn't seem to connect. Without a doubt I over-traded, but I also put on some great trades... then I wouldn't hold them. Classic of what I have been struggling with for the last month. Even when it was so obvious what I should do, and I knew it, I was still so worried about being wrong that I didn't take the trade... or I closed it out prematurely with a small profit. I also struggled a bit with wanting to pick a bottom, but fortunately I identified that feeling... and when I felt it, I would get up and doing something, or I would put my arms across my chest and fold them in confrontation. So I realize today I am still dealing with some deep seated issues of "Not being wrong"... and that is really affecting me negatively when I am trading in this combine. I had a good chat after market close with my psych coach, and he gave me some really good guidance. It also came up that today I had abandoned my attitude of DGAF ... which I am embarrassed to say, I hadn't really considered embracing that attitude prior to trading today. Tomorrow I am going to embrace it! On the positive side, I was seeing that market really well... making some great entries, and I added to some good trades. I just need to trust my methodology, and realize it is only following that completely which will make me a great trader. Flirting close to my trailing max drawdown, but I am going to do my best to just trade like I know how to trade and let the day sort out itself. -278
Speak to your coach about making some recorded affirmations - which you can listen to before the open.., and while trading The one before the open - to get you in the right frame of mind The one while you're trading - to keep you there RN
Day #29 - Went into the day with a focus on following my morning prep, and trying to maintain a DGAF attitude. I would say I probably kept that attitude about 80% of the time, which actually helped me. Two things really stood out to me today: 1) I exited a trade prematurely with a small win, realized that I was doing exactly what I had been doing all month... cutting my winners short... and so when the market came back to that entry point, I entered again and rode it all the way to my profit target. I was very pleased about that move. 2) I had an interesting "Intuitive" moment, where I was trading and short... and suddenly I looked at the chart, and I don't know what it was... but something was wrong. I took another look at the 5min chart, and it just felt wrong. It felt like my whole body was just saying, "hey, being short isn't the right move"... so I closed the trade. Saw it go my way a few more ticks, and then in reversed and a few minutes after that it would have stopped me out... then it rallied another 200 ticks. I didn't get long, but I did pause and remember that feeling... and tried to imprint it in my brain, so if it happens again I will listen and consider it. I had quite a busy day ahead of me, and closed down trading a bit early. Felt a bit of FOMO seeing these big swings, but reminded myself that I had a winning day and I didn't want to give that back. +171
Day #30 - Did my normal prep, and went into the day feeling good about the day. One thing that I hesitated on, was that traditionally I don't do well on EIA report and FOMC days, but I thought I would push through that fear and just trade. Today was a volatile day, and before I knew it I was below my trailing max drawdown which at today's close would automatically disqualify me from the combine. So the only logical choice was to just try to trade my way out of that. Which I did, but just couldn't seem to catch anything... would get stopped out just before it moved significantly my way. I think part of it was I was still biased to the short side, and when I did get long I woudn't hold on to them... One thing I want to journal before I forget. At one point, I remember being very concerned about what some of the TST group would be thinking of me. It was like my brain was imagining them criticizing my trading skills... or saying, "What is he doing here?". Obviously I wasn't in the DGAF attitude at that point... This is something I need to explore more, as I can't have that type of stuff popping up in my head while I am trading. So I am down about $600 and I am thinking it would be probably a good time to just call it a day, as I just wasn't connecting like I should... but why stop, why not keep trying. So I get a good trade on, I add to the winner, and now I am up about 30 ticks total. I was really tempted to close it out, but I reminded myself that I was trying to hang onto winners and let it move more... so that is what I did. It moved all right, the other way... and just ripped higher, and like crazy high.... suddenly I am stopped out $10 shy of my daily loss limit. What do you do now? Put on another trade, and was quickly stopped out... and there it was... I was done. I thought I might be pissed off, or really upset... but I wasn't. I realized that there are some things I need to change if I am going to accomplish this goal of trading OPM. I have to move forward building positive trading behaviors. So I am reflecting on this... but I have a good idea of what I need to do. 30 trading days, and I have learned so much! Very grateful for this. Thanks to everyone for their support! -1204