BACK TO THE BASICS A very good trader told me this... "If you are struggling, go back to trading 101"... and there is a lot of wisdom in that statement. I had a good talk with my psych coach, and I'm making progress on figuring out why I tilted the way that I did. (Some of that written above) I was planning to not trade at all the rest of the week, but in discussions with my psych coach, we decided tomorrow I am going to trade. However, the focus is the basics, so here is Friday's plan: I am allowed three trades, and of course they all have to be rule based as per my methodology. If I correctly trade all three trades, then I am allowed to take a fourth trade. If that trade is correctly completed, then I can take a fifth trade, and so on. The moment I trade incorrectly then I am done for the day. Some of the rules I will be following: 1) Am I remaining neutral? This is defined to me as being a casual observer who is at least 85% present. I am not fighting the market, rather I am just going with the market. I am not worried, because why should I be, I am simply following the trading plan. 2) I am adjusting my trades based strictly on my methodology, and not some gut instinct or DOM reading. 3) I will only enter trades when I can be completely focused on the market. 4) I will stop for the day if my loss for the day hits $500. 5) I will take all the trades that I am supposed to take. The reason behind this is to keep my focus on the correct execution of the trading plan. That is it. No P&L. No combine goal. No OPM. Friday my job is to wake up, do my pre-market routine, and then execute trades exactly where I am supposed to... and if I can do that, then I have done the best that I can do.
Horse has been shown the water..., horse apparently not willing to drink Since nothing "tangible" has changed = the loop remains unbroken If only it were different - this time Prove me wrong - I sincerely would like that As always - it is your call Yukoner RN
Yukoner, What do you mean by I am allowed three trades ??? Reality is that you have nothing in place to enforce or ensure that you will NOT break that rule or any other rule. Currently, you're amongst a large number of traders that are not able to follow their own trading plan (rules) due to lack of discipline regardless to the reasons. You have proven again and again you'll eventually break your rules without any type of in person supervision. Therefore, as I've already stated a few times earlier in your journals...you need in person help where someone sits side by side with you while you're trading...someone right there in person with you. This person doesn't need to know your trade strategy. In contrast, this person needs to know the details of your trading plan that manages your trade strategy. For example, as soon as you complete trade number three...this person will demand (politely) that you must close your broker platform. The reason why you need in person help is because your words, goals, desires, sticky notes on the monitors, psych coach (telephone or online) isn't enough motivation to instill consistent discipline. Think about this very carefully. You've had years of behaviors and beliefs instilled in you from in person interactions/beliefs since childhood...they are embedded in all of your senses until the day you die. You need help from similar type of in person interaction while you're trading that will instill new behaviors that will encourage discipline trading...resulting in consistent profits. This in my opinion is the only solution remaining if you want to break the consistent ugly cycle you're stuck within because your words, goals, sticky notes on the monitors, talks on the telephone or online with your psych coach is just not good enough...so far...these are just self promises New Years like resolutions that just doesn't work unless someone else is interacting with you in person to help you apply your trading plan. In professional sports, when a losing team or individual is in a rut...heads start to roll. They bring in new help, new faces to interact with the team or player to enforce discipline and to enforce a plan that has been outline for success. The same is true with any corporate business...they hire people to specifically ensure the job is done properly. Those that don't are often at great risk of losing out to their competitors that do. Its time for you to start behaving like a professional and properly fix your problem...find someone to sit with you while you're trading...someone you've educated about your trading plan and given them the right (signed agreement may be necessary in your situation) to enforce your trading plan rules (e.g. I am allowed only three trades per day, stop trading if loss exceeds $500 in a day and so on). Without the in person help, you will not have done the best you can do because you have failed at using the most obvious solution that any professional trader would have applied at this point in their career. Please take my advice because you're fooling yourself if you think you can trade OPM or trade your own account professionally without any oversight from others...you can not successfully trade via words and wishes alone. Friday, your job is to search and find someone in your neighborhood, city or nearby community to come to your home every day and sit with you in person while you trade...someone that has an interest in trading. Don't take another trade until you find that in person help to enforce and instill new behaviours involving your discipline so that you can succeed in trading if you're serious about being a professional trader. Now go tell someone your trading plan and let them enforce it...in person. P.S. Ignore the above advice if trading is just a hobby, academic pursuit or just a game of psycho analysis for you to determine whom you are as a person. Simply, deep down in that subconscious of yours...there really is no professional goal.
Yukoner: If this is the kind of thought process you have during trading (which an example of "Discursive Thought"), you do not practice mindfulness. You are just fooling yourself into thinking that you (a) understand mindfulness; and, (b) practice mindfulness. Sorry if I came out harsh -- but it is the truth. If you even understand what mindfulness is (forget about practicing it regularly), you would know to: (a) just "watch" the thought "I am never good enough"; (b) know to stop that thought from "chaining" further -- none of "I should do better ....."; (c) let that thought mentioned in (a) go!; and, (d) get back to the task at hand (in this case, trading). That is mindfulness. The question of why that thought arises in the first place does not matter -- no need to dissect it. The practice of all this is of course difficult but doable. We are humans, and we all have thoughts. To have no thoughts would be "non-human". What we do with our thoughts is all that matters. Do you want to create more thoughts by dissecting it, or do you want to realize that a thought is "not useful" to the task at hand and reject it? The answer to this question will dictate the approach (psychoanalytic vs. mindfulness) you take in addressing issues of the mind. Now, tell me Yukoner: do you really practice mindfulness as you have claimed in your post? or, Are you confusing "awareness" with "mindfulness". Awareness of your thoughts is the basic requirement to start the practice of mindfulness. All the best. Regards, Monoid.
For the record, I considered exactly what you had said about being lulled into a false sense of improvement... I thought about that a few times over the last couple of days. I also thought about what you said a long time ago, that if I could take this rigid upbringing and somehow overlay it onto my trading behavior, I would have a real solid framework to trade from. Interesting you reference "loop", because I have been reading the book, "The Power of Habit" and it refers to rather than trying to change the habit, instead insert a new routine into the loop which can change the outcome. So that is what I am trying to do today. I am inserting a new routine into my trading plan, and it is borrowed from what you and @Handle123 have both been telling me. "We simply do our job correctly - and to hell with the results" and "Your trading plan is your boss". So after each trade, I have to write down which number it was and then put a check mark by it if I did my job correctly. I know that might sound like a very small thing, but there is a lot of decisions made that get me to that point. Also, there is the physical sensation of writing it down in my journal which requires a different part of my mind than what I had been using in trading. Not at all trying to prove you wrong, rather trying to prove you right.
Day #19 - Went to bed later than normal, and so woke up at 5:00 am still tired. Part of my trading plan is to get enough sleep, so I went back to sleep until I woke up feeling rested (roughly 7:00 am). At first I felt briefly like I was missing out, but I reminded myself that today was different and my focus was on something entirely different. I still went through my regular pre-market routine with the exception of writing down in my journal what my goal for today was. I could feel some of the previous thinking coming into play... what if you lose, how much can you make, what if it is wrong to trade today... but I reminded myself that today none of that mattered. What really mattered was that I would do my job correctly... and that I was back to trading 101... and I had a new routine to follow and stay focused on. If the trade was done correctly, I would note it in my journal and mark in a check mark. First trade - executed perfectly. Check (-10 ticks) Second trade - executed perfectly. Check (-5 ticks) Third trade - executed perfectly. Check (+29 ticks) And then that was it. It was time to take my son to school, and I even though I had opportunity later in the day to trade, I realized that I could end up breaking the rule of being at least 85% present.... so I quit for the day. I have to say, at times I still felt the negative thinking hit me (especially while in a trade), but I would remind myself that my routine for today was "to trade correctly" and the only way I could do that was to follow my trading plan. I didn't care about the P&L, for today I just wanted to stick to my plan for the day. +129
I wake up everyday at same time, half the times I don't know it is Saturday, I flip on laptops and go make coffee, restroom stop, come back to my office, check fax machine for tallies, send out faxes, sit down bring up brokerage and platforms, check for reports and how ES, CL and GC did over night, I bring up CL/GC/ES/ZB charts and ready to trade. I do this same routine 5-6 days a week, it doesn't change cause it is a routine, it is now 6:25mdt and ready for any reports to come out. I will trade report on ZB/ES, right after I will trade CL.GC till 7:29, then at 7:30 my eyes on ES/CL till 8:45, so unless I see extreme pattern on ES, I am done, I will continual to trade CL/GC till 10:00 and I am done. If I didn't make goal on ES, will come back at 12:15mdt and trade for 90 minutes. I do the same thing each and every day. I don't answer the phone unless it my broker-he only calls during this time for emergencies. But I maintain pretty close to same thing each trading day. I am pretty much numb when it is work, when I am getting excited over anything, I get out, usually market near extremes and my emotions are almost always wrong. Getting out doesn't mean I am wrong, dumb or weak, it is part of my Trading Plan and it is smarter than me when I am trading. My Trading Plan is perfect, it was made during non-market hours. I try to trade during my time as boring as I can, this is my job to rake in what market willing to give me as per my rules, it is better I trade dumb, I don't have bias, I have rules and even if system losses and I traded per rules, it is a winning day for me, another day of over coming inner thoughts. When I am not trading, I am laugh, worry, be surprised, feel pain but this is my time off, I allow my life to be this way, most likely not what most see as a life, but it allows me to enjoy that I can overcome what most have not yet. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.
Meant prove me wrong that this time is different And so you did..., today I (me, RN) was wrong - Makes my heart happy that I was wrong ==================================== This is what must happen - every trading day - every trade - for the remainder of your trading career In the meantime Life (shit) happens Mkt relentlessly assaults us Our mind runs amuck - creating all sorts of useless.., even detrimental - thoughts How will you battle..., defend..., overcome..., ensure - Life..., the mkt..., your thoughts - never influence your actions So that every trading day..., and every trade - -> You do exactly what must be done ================ We are not our thoughts..., and we are certainly not the extraneous events (life) which occurs around us We are our actions..., we are only our actions We decide; to either let each thought..., each event going on around us (life) - go..., or not We decide; to either allow each thought..., each event going on around us (life) - influence our next thought / series of thoughts..., or not Ultimately each of us; either allow our thoughts..., allow the events occurring around us (life) - to influence our actions..., or not How will you ensure - you are not your thoughts..., nor the events (life) occurring around you How will you ensure - you are only..., and strictly - your actions Every trading day..., every trade - for the remainder of you trading career Rhetorical Yukoner - I've got mine / own mine..., want you to have yours / own yours Sir RN
I use a piece of tape to cover PL on my platforms, I don't want to know where I am while I am trading. Each trade in my mind is first trade for the day. I write down points based on one lots, so when I make goal to reduce size is reason I keep track. So many points in so much time must be achieved to continue to trade, my testing shows me if I can't get what I normally make as min, no sense to trade at all, then I am prone to making trades that don't exist or better know as forcing trades. I look at plus/minus at end of the day, five minutes after that it is forgotten, I made my widgets and that's it, by next morning I don't even remember what happened yesterday, today is day one all over again, no pat on the back from yesterday, that is gone, we start all over again. Doing what you suppose to be doing is your job, you keep doing your job six months from now, then maybe you prove something, but not one day. It all starts again next week. Have a great weekend all.
For some inexplicable reason I've always found the below link insidiously soothing Let's me know when the hour of reckoning upon me http://isthemarketopen.com/ tick tock..., tick tock ============= Not poking fun Yukoner - this shit serious Friday's "Good Job" is past - can't bank on it..., dwell on it..., re-live it Only matters; That you set your feelings/ thoughts / life going on around you / crap the mkt dishes out / all of it - aside - while.., and as long as - you're trading That you do your job - every trading day..., every trade Time's a tickin RN