You Know You're A Moonbat If...

Discussion in 'Politics' started by hapaboy, Mar 7, 2006.

  1. You know you're a moonbat if...

    1. Your main debating points with the opposing side include the claim that your First Amendment rights are being violated; you call the other person's intellectual faculties into question and you constantly cry that your patriotism is being questioned.

    2. When it comes to drug use or alcoholism it's a personal matter that deserves sensitivity during the struggle and praise in the case of recovery--except when conservatives like Rush Limbaugh or George W. Bush are being discussed.

    3. You think corporations are bad (except the one you work for).
    Wealthy conservatives are to be despised for gaining their riches by grinding the faces of the poor, but wealthy liberals are to be commended for rising above the difficult circumstances of their youth. In the case of inherited wealth, conservatives who inherit are again to be despised for having been born with the proverbial silver spoon, while liberals who inherit are simply regular people who happen to have trust funds.

    4. You think the rights of the criminal are more important than those of the victim.

    5. Our soldiers should be used exclusively for humanitarian aid missions, not to defend the country.

    6. You think military funding is a no-no unless it's funding for veterans' programs due to their high PR value.

    7. You think religion has no place in modern public life unless it's a trendy or PC-approved one such as Scientology, Kabbalah, Buddhism and Islam.

    8. You think government programs automatically trump hard work and self-reliance.

    9. You wish the U.N. was in charge of the U.S.

    10. You believe the courts make law, rather than uphold the laws that Congress makes.

    11. You never met a tax you didn't like.

    12. You care more about the opinion of Europe than the opinion of your neighbor down the street.

    13. Calling those who don't agree with your world view "brainwashed" is a common occurrence.

    14. You think "celebrating our differences" is more important than "celebrating our similarities." Strength through diversity, not strength through common interest, is your mantra.
  2. Or, you use term's like "MOONBAT",
    knowing full well, there are no bats on the moon.:D
  3. You know you're a Republican when...

    Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

    trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

    A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

    Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

    the best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

    providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

    global warming is junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

    being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
  4. Are you sure about that? Since the moon landing was a total hoax orchestrated by the evil government, how do we know what is and what isn't on the moon? :D
  5. Well, thats a good question, dont really beleive, there are bats on the moon? Im requesting permission, to investigate this matter of the supposedly faked moon landing. If my suspicion's are correct, i WILL find evidence that CHAOS was behind this..........chief? Whats wrong, chief? Chief? Why are you falling down behind your desk? Chief?"
    Cheif; "Maa...x......get me my heart pills..."

  6. Thanks, dddooo, I knew you'd come a callin'....:D

    But seriously, I don't hate moonbats.

    Some of my best friends are liberal moonbats. I just don't invite them over when I'm meeting with my SS - whoops! I mean FBI - control and handing him my weekly list of individuals I've found on ET Chit Chat saying un-American things. :D
  7. Why should you, you're the proverbial Joe the Republican owing them your lifestyle, health, safety, income and possibly life :D


    Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

    All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

    In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

    He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

    Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

    Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

    Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

    Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

    He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

    Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

    Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have!."
  8. In the morning, Joe watches his kids leave for school. Joe never attempted to make much of himself, believing that it was the government's responsibility to look after him, so he can't afford private schooling for them. So the state carts them half way across town because some fancy pants liberal thought it would be a fantastic idea for Joe's kids to picked on and abused by blacks all day while the teacher is busy trying to address students in 16 different languages.
  9. LOL, It's not nearly that bad, my kids go to an excellent public school in a very blue state (NJ), they are getting excellent education at a reasonable price (school taxes) and they are not and have never been abused. The schools have excelent ESL classes so even though students do speak 16 different languages at home teachers have no problem addressing them all in English.

    BTW Joe Hapaboy the Republican can rest assured that whether he's alive or dead, healthy or sick, married or divorced, well-off or poor, employed or between jobs - his kids are guaranteed to get an adequate HS education, courtesy of liberals who fought for a fair and universal public education.
  10. Who could argue with that, eh? ddoo's kids, man, ddoo's kids!

    You think those "100 statisticians" from a few days ago are with you on this one, too?
    #10     Mar 8, 2006