Manual, I have not learned to code but will if necessary. I do like to trade, I see it similar to my martial practices...keeps me sharp and tuned.
I am comfortable with modest gains and more modest losses. Some like to risk more for larger gains but that will result in higher draw downs. Again, a personal thing.
I understand day trading. I would say making 4000 manual day trades a year in ES and NQ requires almost super human skills. Everyone who i ever met trading with that style eventually burnt out. Of course that doesn't mean it is not impossible, some people may be able to do it, but not many. I would say it requires mental abilities that one is born with, i don't think you could teach that kind of trading to just any one. I prefer automated trading, about 100 day trades a year but go in heavy 100+ contracts. I think this style is 10x easier to do than one that requires 1000s of trades a year.
About 7500-10000 per contract. I aim to decrease DD and use less but this is my current comfort level.
I would agree with you for a scalping methodology but I may average a trade-able signal every 40 minutes or so and even less frequently for the ES so it's hardly a manic pace. I also have no qualms about getting up and going for a run or other training session or out to lunch if I choose or getting on a plane and taking a few days somewhere. There were days (and weeks and months) early in my development that were torment but once you "get it", it's enjoyable.
That should be adequate for day trades but a little thin for overnight holds. It sounds like you could improve on your R/R to lessen your draw down experience.
I also set limits on the times I trade. I don't take a trade prior to 8:30 CST or after 2:45, not that there aren't good opportunities outside of that envelope but that number of hours work for me, and have for years. Some like to get up in the middle of the night to look for trades. I like to trade but also like a life apart from it.