Why isn't the market surging on the Maddof

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by stock_trad3r, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. guilty plea? Aren't we all suposto be happy about this?

    yay he's going to jail
  2. The market would only surge if he were executed by decapitation, his severed head auctioned to the highest bidder on eBay with any otherwise-applicable restrictions and regulations governing the use of human remains suspended & waived by Act of Congress, and the proceeds going towards the losses of his victims.

    After, of course, he were put on a rack, slowly stretched until his limbs were dislocated one by one on pay-per-view as part of a fundraising effort earlier in the day...

    ... as the penultimate event of a week-long series of primetime PPV specials including:

    * Application of tight cords to cut off testicular blood supply... Initially, just enough to hurt, but by the end of the evening, tight enough to cut off the blood supply entirely and begin the process of cell death.

    * Insertion of bamboo slivers under his fingernails

    * Insertion of bamboo slivers under his toenails

    * Removal of fingernails and toenails, followed by healing alcohol dip to prevent infection.

    * Removal of now-dead testicles without anesthesia, and subsequent feeding of the same to animals of some kind in his presence.

    * Crushing of knuckles with a small hammer, one knuckle at a time. With commercial break between fingers.

    * Evenings spent in cell (televised, of course) with several hundred cockroaches... with option to exit the room to a spotlessly-clean adjacent cell where he'll be anally-penetrated all night on gay PPV TV. Or, if they can't find anyone willing to do the penetration part, he could be strapped onto a replica of a Victorian-era steam-powered dildo. Like this one: http://images.coilhouse.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/dildo.jpg

    Any other creative fundraising ideas?