Why aren't there Crematory franchises?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by nitro, Oct 18, 2009.

  1. nitro


    With an aging population in the US, I am wondering why there aren't franchise crematorium the way there are Subway, McDonalds, etc?

    I wonder what the catchy phrases they would use:

    -Do you want that toasted?
    -Satisfaction guaranteed.
    -No shoes, no shirt, no service.
    -But if you order now, we will incenirate your wife for free. That's right, two incenerations for the price of one. Amazing!

  2. Shouldn't that be "No shoes, no shirt, no problem"?
    Oh wait, there's a joke in there...no service..as in Funeral Service..ok ..I"m dense.:D
  3. lindq


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  4. kxvid


    Welcome to McCrematory. Please deposit your dead relatives body at the gate. We have several burial packages available for your consideration.

    Platinum is our best package. It includes an extra comfy looking padded premium oak casket. A premium burial plot at the McCrematory Cemetary is included. Also premium body preparation for your dead relative. Finally cookies and fries are provided to guests attending the viewing service at our mortuary.

    We also offer gold, silver, and if you really hate your relative, bronze packages. Please talk to a representative for more information. For franchise opportunities, please call 1-800-MY-OWN-MORGUE.
  5. Fries with that?
  6. I heard people were dying to get into that
  7. Fire sale prices!
  8. I used to work for the local funeral home. We never had a complaint from those we served.
  9. nitro


    What songs would they offer to play at the cremation?

    "Another one bites the dust" - Queen
    "Staying Alive" - Bee Gees
    "Burn baby burn" - Ash
  10. Banjo


    Even in your hood, make a great sideline biz., maybe even take on a few under the table projects for south siders. Most of them are animals anyway
    A Chicago area company can, as it looks to franchise a business that sells cremation services and memorial products such as urns and engraved jewelry, picture frames and ornaments.


    :D :D :D
    #10     Oct 18, 2009