Newt update: Newt is currently apologizing to anyone who still will listen for trashing one of the Pauls, I think it was Paul Ryan's Medicare plan. Also, he's getting trashed by most conservative commentators. Finally and maybe most importantly, he got "glitter bombed" at one of his campaign stops. The FEC (Federal Election Commission) has lowered its rating on his chances of securing the nomination from " no friggin way" to "lower than the average ET'rs" - it's next to lowest rating. Apparently the FEC wanting to emulate the TSA decided to come up with its own rating system; they now have overpriced consultants working on a color coded system. Seneca
The FEC initiated coverage of Mitch Daniels this afternoon at "Who is he?" after the following report came out: " Top Republicans are increasingly convinced that President Barack Obama will be easily reelected if stronger GOP contenders do not emerge, and some are virtually begging Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels to add some excitement to the slow-starting nomination race." http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0511/55172.html#ixzz1MjFx6Xex Seneca
The excitement is intense today as another GOP candidate appears to be emerging: RICK PERRY, current Texas Governor, Secessionist and Aggie. " As many grass-roots Republicans remain in search of a conservative candidate with the pizazz to go toe-to-toe against President Obama, a man from deep in the heart of Texas who was tea party before the tea party was cool appears to be giving the presidential race some thought. Gov. Rick Perry has insisted on multiple occasions that he has no interest in the presidency, but RCP has learned that political associates have begun to nose around quietly on Perry's behalf. " http://www.realclearpolitics.com/ar...idential_push_quietly_gains_steam_109894.html Just think, another Texas President and a Secessionist to boot. The FEC initiated coverage today at "All Hat; No Cattle" and is considering changing it to "All boots; no cattle." See Rick has named his boots, "Freedom" and "Liberty." Seneca
Next Candidate: GARY JOHNSON, former Gov. Of New Mexico Reasons why he will win: Recently received coveted endorsement from Texas's Head Stoner and country music legend, WILLIE NELSON. He apparently is trying to cut into one of the Pauls lead with the stoners. He also received the endorsement from the TeaPOT Party. http://politics.blogs.foxnews.com/2011/05/17/gary-johnson-gets-legendary-endorsement http://www.teapotparty.org/ Reasons He Won't Win: In the previous two elections, Nelson endorsed Dennis Kucinich, and we all know how that turned out. Rumored to be his running mate is a chick he picked up at a biker party in Luckenbach, TX a couple of weekends ago. If she is reading this, please contact him or Willie as he really wants to see you again. http://www.luckenbachtexas.com/ Drinking Game: If you heard of him, have a joint. If you know where Luckenbach is, have a Shiner Bock. The FEC initiated coverage at a rating of "Where's my car?" Seneca
I just have to post this: The perfect pairing, like a nice Bourdeaux and steak; Willie Horton and Mike Dukakis. Seneca
This just in: Democrats, liberals (OK, they are similar), and Tea Partiers joined forces to wreck the candidacy of Mitch Daniels who just yesterday got blessed by GOP leaders. Let us see how this odd couple or menage a trois did it: Tea Party website http://www.protectyourcare.org posted the above attack on Daniels. The following is on various websites. "WASHINGTON -- A race to pre-define the prospective presidential candidacy of Republican Mitch Daniels took off in haste on Thursday, as Democrats heaped praise on the Indiana governor for his implementation of the president's health care law. It's low-hanging fruit, as far as political attacks go. The Affordable Care Act is toxic among Republican voters -- something that those attacking Daniels are implicitly acknowledging. While the Indiana governor has called for ObamaCare's repeal, his acceptance of the ACA money does set him apart from some of his GOP colleagues." I believe the following is from the DNC: " "Gov. Daniels could be another welcome adult voice in the health care policy debate. While Gov. Daniels has certainly used a lot of the 'correct' language for the far right, when push comes to shove on actual policy, his administration in Indiana has been pretty good at helping to implement the Affordable Care Act," said Eddie Vale, a spokesman for the group. "Daniels's assistance in implementing the Affordable Care Act is especially welcome when contrasted with the actions of Govs. [Rick] Perry [Texas], [Rick] Scott [Fla.] and [Bobby] Jindal [La.] to block it at behest of the Tea Party." The FEC has lowered its Daniel's rating from "Who is he" to "A little above Newt" Seneca
Today's candidate is John Q. Generic. Reasons he will win: Vehemently opposes Obamacare especially the parts that were originally conservative ideas like the mandate. Has never previously supported any of it. Will cut taxes as a solution to any problem. Supports Ryan's plan to destroy Medicare as we know it. Will impale all terrorists on the Whitehouse lawn. Loves guns and thinks we should be allowed to bear and carry 155 mm howitzers, although they will be hard to carry considering they weigh about 80 tons. Will draw the line at nukes and chemical weapons. Wants to eliminate all wimpy gummint agencies like Education, Energy, IRS, FED, EPA, OSHA, NPR, NEA, etc. Thinks we should deregulate more allowing the elimination of the SEC, etc. Reason He Won't Win: Are you kidding, if this guy existed, it's the mother of all landslides. Rumored running mate is Jesus of Nazareth. The FEC initiated coverage at "Everybody else just drop out." Seneca
Texas Governor, Secessionist, and Aggie RICK PERRY took a leap forward today by signing a bill to make "NOODLING" legal. For the unwashed, "noodling" is catching fish, usually catfish, barehanded. Texas is currently facing a financial crisis of about $20 billion and has no clue of what they will do. Currently, there is a $500 fine for "noodling." The FEC will be working 24/7 this weekend, once they wake up after hearing that Tim from Minn. will announce Monday, trying to figure out what rating Rick should have. Tim will likely remain at "no body gives a shit." Seneca. ps-for the record I've caught a few blue cats by noodling, but the statute of limitations has passed, so I can now admit it and clear my mind.