Newt update: Newt recently got the kiss of death from Rush, cutting his chances from remote to no friggin way. âI am not going to justify this. I am not going to explain it," Limbaugh said. "The attack on Paul Ryan, the support for an individual mandate in health care? Folks, donât ask me to explain this. There is no explanation! "What do you mean, if I donât explain it, who will? There is no explanation for it. First off, it cuts Paul Ryan off at the knees. It supports the Obama administration in the lawsuits that 26 states have filed over the mandate. And guess, what? Back in 1993, Newt supported an individual mandate, everybody should buy insurance. I am as befuddled as anyone else is what Iâm telling you.â http://www.newsmax.com/Headline/rushlimbaugh-newtgingrich/2011/05/16/id/396556 Seneca
Next Candidate: The Mormons (Mitt and Jon Huntsman) and the Babes (Palin and Michelle and Nikki Haley) Reasons They Will Win Both Mormons are really rich and experienced in biz and politics. The babes will offset their weaknesses. Mitt is already the front runner and adding Huntsman will help, Reasons They Won't Win Huntsman recently finished a gig as Ambassador to China as commie loving Obama's appointee. Some Christians believe LDS are fake Christians. Drinking Game If the thought of two LDS guys with multiple partners gets your Johnson up, have a 2.8 beer. If the thought of two LDS guys with multiple partners does not get your Johnson up, have a Viagra followed by 2.8 beer. If you are trying to figure out why the Mormons are rich, have Joe Smith's favorite beer: Pay Lay Ale Seneca
Update on the Pauls One of these guys just rose to the top of the polls in a head to head with our commie President. I think it was Ron Paul who in a recent Rasmussen poll is statistically tied with President Obama. This jump up for Paul occurred shortly after saying he was in favor of legalizing drugs thereby locking in the stoner demographic. His major problem will be getting the stoners to the polls on the day of the primaries. They will likely not be able to remember where they are. Seneca
Did you know that Tsingtao is Yao Ming's favorite beer? At least that is what the guys at the concession stands told me when I was a regular at Rocket games. Seneca
Stoners really have no incentive to vote for legalizing marijuana. They already have access to it, it's cheap, and if they really want to go legal they can get a doctor's recommendation. Why would they go out of their way to legalize the damn thing?
Next Candidate: Bobby Jindal, Gov. of the Banana Republic of Louisiana Reason He Could Win: Articulate, smart, willing to work with Dems, was darling of the party as recently as 2009 when he gave the GOPs response to commie President Obama's SOTU speech. Running mate rumored to be the Morganza Spillway. OK, I know you are thinking how can a flood control structure be VP? Well, I say, look who is now VP and tell me it matters. Also, many primary voters will think Morganza is a Bourbon Street stripper like I did who last "opened up" in 1973. Reasons He Won't Win: As of yet, he has not flogged Obamacare; not yet a declared candidate. Drinking Game: Anytime you see a news anchor broadcasting from the "Big Sleazy" or anywhere else in south Louisiana, have a Hurricane (Pat O'Brien kind) and repeat after me: "I'm friggin' tired of seeing all these Louisiana disasters, close all the spillways and blow the levees and get this over with finally!!!!" Seneca