Who Will Get GOP Nomination

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by seneca_roman, May 15, 2011.

  1. 1. RONALD REAGAN
    Why he could win: recent reports are he has God on his side, thereby boosting his chances. Easily the front runner.

    Why he probably won’t win: Constitutionally not eligible. And, he is dead.

    Drinking Game:
    If you did not know he was dead, knock back a shot of JW Red.
    If you have a pic of him in your house or office, knock back 2.
    If you have a pic of him in your wallet, you’ve earned a pint of Everclear.

    2. MIKE HUCKABEE
    Why he could win: A guy everbody likes.

    Why he probably won’t win: Recently declared he won’t run.

    Drinking Game:
    Technically, you don’t have to play with him out of the race. But just in case, whenever he invokes the word of God and if you are a Baptist, have a chug of Wild Turkey.

    3. DICK CHENEY
    Why he could win: Has plans for mass torturing voters to vote for him.

    Why he probably won’t win: Not enough time to implement mass torture plan.

    Drinking Game: Anytime the MSM media does a Cheney story and accompany it with this picture, have a cool one.

    [​IMG]

    4. MITCH DANIELS

    Why he could win: Fiscal conservative who is a fiscal conservative.
    Dropped “social issues” to focus on fiscal stuff “back home in Indiana.”

    Why he probably won’t win: see above.

    Drinking Game:
    If you knew he was running, have a glass of milk.
    If you did not know, have a glass of rum.
    If you enjoy Jim Nabors singing “Back Home in Indiana”, have milk and rum.

    5. Head Start

    Why they could win: Many states allow voters to switch parties or vote in another party’s primary, and with Planned Parenthood as their running mate, so many Democrats who already know who their candidate is will totally do it. Acorn is managing the campaign assuring a massive black turnout, exceeding the number registered.

    Why they probably won’t win: No LFBC that is real.

    Drinking Game: If you believed any of this one, go on a bender.
    If you hear anyone say seriously that Head Start works, laugh your ass off and have a Cutty Sark.

    6. Michelle Bachman
    Why She Could Win: Darling of the Tea Party will get massive support from them.

    Why she probably won’t win: see above.

    Drinking Game: If she gets nomination, go to where your county Democrats are having their watch party and get shit faced with them.

    6. Sarah Palin

    Why She Could Win: Darling of the Tea Party, reality TV star, daughter may be reality TV star, GILF. Best known candidate of ’08 Election.

    Why she probably won’t win: Polls show this part time Governor has almost no real support and, hell, why give up her $100K speaking gigs.

    Drinking Game:
    Knock back a beer if you know what a GILF is.
    Knock back two if you can see Russia from where you are.
    If you knew who her running mate was in ’08, have a Bud Lite.
    If you knew she was actually McCain’s running mate, have 2 Buds.
    If you would vote for McCain again, seek professional help and have 3.

    7. Mitt Romney

    Why he could win: Front runner as of now; well financed; well organized; has experience; good looking dude.

    Why he probably won’t win:
    Recently got kiss of death from Obama: ““We have said before that health care reform that then Governor Romney signed into law in Massachusetts is in many ways similar to the legislation that resulted in the Affordable Care Act,” White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said.

    Admits to living in the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts and was Gov of it too.

    Drinking Game:
    CAUTION, only play if you have the desire and can afford a stint at the Betty Ford Clinic. Anytime someone takes a swipe at Mitt by saying Romneycare is similar to Obamacare, take a shot of Wild Turkey.

    8. Tom Delay
    I know he is not running but I have to get in the ham sandwich thing.

    Reasons He Will Win: I’m still working on that one.

    Reasons He Won’t Won:
    Recently convicted of violating some obscure Texas Campaign finance law and sentenced to 3 years.

    Indicted by the Travis County District Attorney (this is where Austin is; a dot of blue in a sea of red), Originally indicted for being a ham sandwich ( An aphorism in criminal law states that "A good prosecutor could get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich.), the charge was later changed to violating campaign finance laws nobody understands.

    The jury who had no clue either, convicted him figuring since he was a Republican he must have broken some law.

    Drinking Game:
    If you remember him, have a Lone Star.
    If you understand the law he broke, have a full case.

    9. Tim Pawlenty
    Reasons He Will Win: Good looking Governor with good ideas.

    Reasons He Won’t Win: Nobody cares.

    Drinking Game:
    If you hear his name mis-pronounced, have a shot with a beer back.

    10. Newt: sorry, I’m still laughing.

    11. Ryans and Pauls:
    Who are these guys,

    Reasons They Will Win: none.

    Reasons They Won’t Win: Too many good ideas.

    Drinking Game: If you can match the person to the idea, have a 25 Year Single Malt and a pizza delivered by Herman Cain.

    Guys: Paul Ryan, Ron Paul; Rand Paul
    Ideas: Destroy Medicare; legalize drugs; get out from under Dad’s shadow.

    11. The Donald
    Just drink.


    12. Chris Christie:
    Not running, but since he is my favorite, I listed him.

    Reasons He Could Win: Kicked New Jersey’s public unions ass, becoming the first Governor to do so since Wm. Livingston who was Gov while it was still a colony.

    Reason He Won’t Win: He is my favorite and they rarely win.

    Drinking Game: At the end of each day that passes and he has not announced, join me in having a beer.

    Seneca
     
  2. Don't matter. Obama will win. Vote for republican members of congress
     
  3. rew

    rew

    13. Ron Paul

    Reason he can't win: He keeps telling the truth. Voters hate that.
     
  4. More on Newt's candidacy:

    Lost in the excitement of his declaring and his confusion over the "official" GOP position on Obamacare was the announcement that if elected he would look for a new wife.

    Seneca
     
  5. Lucrum

    Lucrum

    I saw him interviewed last night, I'm liking him more and more. Although I'm inclined to think he's a long shot at best.
     
  6. OOOPS, my bad, Mitch Daniels has not dropped social issues to focus on fiscal issues.

    "Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels signed a bill earlier this week that is the first in the nation to bar Planned Parenthood from contracting with Medicaid, which means that all of the 9,300 Medicaid recipients using Planned Parenthood of Indiana as their primary health provider now have to look elsewhere for their health and preventative care. The bill is intended to prevent taxpayer money from being used to pay for abortions, although the Hyde Amendment has banned taxpayer-funded abortions for the past 30 years."

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/16/indiana-planned-parenthood-defunded_n_862423.html
     
  7. BSAM

    BSAM

    Obama is going to win, but a voter in the USA should never vote for a Republican or a Democrat.

    They are the ones who led up down the path to destruction. Now, they are the same old clowns saying that they have the answer; that they can now fix it all up if we'll just go along with their latest plan. LMAO

    Any of you ever read "Animal Farm"? You know who the pigs are, right?
     
  8. Sadly The Donald has dropped out of the race. Sad, because he seemed to offer the funniest material, although Bachman was close.

    Best wishes Donald, I'll miss your fbombs and rants.

    Seneca
     
  9. elon

    elon

    Hahaha!! So true!

    Since when has the truth won an argument against pretty made up scenarios??
     
  10. Next possible candidate:

    The Florida Governors. (Rick Scott, Jeb Bush, Charlie Crist)

    Why they might win

    All experienced; Florida is important with 25 electoral votes.
    Former Gov. Jeb Bush has famous last name and really cool mother.

    Current Gov. Scott will clean the Dems clock when debating healthcare as he was chairman of HCA. Former Gov Crist will help when flip flopping is needed.

    Running mate is former Florida Secy. of State Katherine Harris who is designing the Florida ballot.

    Why they might not win

    Scott gained his health care experience leading HCA when they admitted to fourteen felonies and agreed to pay the federal government over $600 million to settle a medicare fraud case.

    No bald guy ever won.

    Drinking Game

    If you hear Scott mentioned by the MSM without a comment about the fraud deal, have a Miller Lite and check the channel as it clearly can not be MSM.
     
    #10     May 17, 2011