This ones really good, you'lllllllove it: Gigli Focus Groups Demand New Ending In Which Both Affleck And Lopez Die http://www.theonion.com/onion3929/gigli_focus_groups.html
Jenny Lopez has done some brilliant PR moves in her career: The Grammy Versace dress, the one that created an uproar, took her career to the next level. It is undeniable. Remember when Jen was simply known for her Big Booty and bronx background? That dress was the turning point for her. Then she shortened her name, another smart move. Then she hooked up with P diddly and Affleck. In a year or two, the Jenny Lopez bubble will have totally burst. I want to buy some puts on her.
Amen. These little annoying facets of hollywood culture would be far more meaningful to me if I could speculate on them.
Just imagine if J Lo quits using her personal trainer for just a couple of days and has a couple of Fudgecicles... her ass will be so fricking big a yardstick wouldnt span it. Short, dumpy, and full of herself. On a good day she is average at best, you can see better eyecandy hanging around any mall.