You guys should remember one thing - most statements make more a statement about one's "truth" than about THE TRUTH. All I see here are a bunch of hardened individuals with a bad taste left in their mouth. If my wife and I ever got divorced, I would be hardened a bit as well, but I think I would look withing me for my own contribution to the failure and move on to open new [romantic] doors for myself - hopefully with more wisdom. As far as "what's up with chicks" surf, the journey is as important as the destination. Being single without kids, and waitressing may not be a glamorous job, but it sure affords a LOT OF FREEDOM. nitro
Perhaps you have done less "sampling" of the market than others. Oh, and it is usually the women who end up with the "bad taste" in their mouths.
Well, Although I am hardly Don Juan, I "dated" for close to 17 years before settling down and had plenty of "sampling." As far as women being the ones left with the "bad taste in their mouths," that is debatable - just look at this thread! nitro
I was also told that women tend to internalize things, whereas men sort of "take it as it comes". So if a man is still single after say, 35, he usually has to go much younger, because the women in his age bracket have become a bunch of head cases.
I don't think that it is a case of bitter men. Engineering is a place where serious nerds tend to congregate. After the money starts rolling in, the hot chicks start coming around, but they are usually reeeelly messed up. Not at all stable. As 777 pointed out, their persona is an act, and they innately know that they may be dealing with someone smart enough to figure that out, unlike the typical jarhead, so they are paranoid and insecure. So they create drama, for the sake of it. Now this will quickly break you from being a "nice guy". The paradox is, when you start to treat them badly, they become MORE attached. It really is very odd to see, even when you do understand the psychology behind the behavior.
Creating drama is a technique designed to keep men on their heels, a way for women to maintain control. Look at the Bush, he is employing the same tactics with the American people. Keep the drama alive, and you keep them from thinking about the real problems. I can't blame women entirely. Men are just as much to blame for the game playing, as men have their own issues to deal with which dovetail perfectly with women's issues. So many men feel the need to rescue women, protect women, fix their problems because doing so gives men an ego rush...a feeling of power and strength....the "Man of Steel and Velvet" bullshit. Once a man begins to stop the bullshit and treat women like people first, and not sex objects, or trophy objects, or the source of their sense of power and masculinity things can begin to change. You first have to understand the games that are being played, why they are being played, and have the courage to stop the games. At that point, and only at that point, can a man and a woman have a relationship based on two human beings, rather than the man versus woman shit that is so common in our society. Will that happen? Well, look at the popular reality shows on TV right now, and I would have to say no, that won't happen any time soon. The vision of a prince charming, and a princess that needs rescuing is so embedded into the romantic myth of our culture that it is very hard for both men and women not to continue the game. It requires self liberation in a society that continues to promote the bondage of sexism.
I agree to a point. I have seen this personally. The "nice guy" does try to give the woman an actual opinion. He tries to make her feel like a person, instead a p*ssy. The results of this is that often he gets labeled as soft, which emboldens the woman to increase her drama exponentially. I have found through both casual observation and personal experience that it is necessary to maintain a hard edge with most women, lest they think they can try silly things.
Hard edge? Not necessary actually. They can try all the tricks they want, so what? Once you know the tricks, impassive response has the same outcome. In fact, impassive response helps to stop the process. Fighting back with an edge only makes them dig in their heels deeper. You can't keep them from trying, you can't control another human being, you can only attempt to understand your own subconscious mechanism and take steps not to give into them. Most of the programming that women have is from a very early age, and most of them don't understand it. Most men have their own programming too, and don't understand it either. Take sex and power struggles out of the equation in the "battle of the sexes" and you are left with two human beings just trying to survive in a world of uncertainty and confusion. I contend that until this is done, and only when it is done, can there be any chance of a genuine relationship between a man and a woman. Just because a co-dependent personality fits like a glove on the personality of a drug or alcohol dependent personality, doesn't mean that a healthy or long term functional relationship exists. Johnny Gray, and his insipid teachings "Men Are From Mars" bullshit is just a method of learning to play into each others mind conditioning, and does nothing actually to break the cycle of sexism. That is why it is so popular, as most men and women don't really want change, they just want to find the one who fits their dysfunctional behavior patterns.
Hmmmm, agreed. Perhaps hard edge was an improper term. I simply tell them that if they ever get me confused with an ex and attempt to anticipate my behavior based on the behavior of some other idiot that they dated, I will politely, but very quickly, show them the door. Personally, I believe that people should establish an individual baseline of behavior i.e. if you are Jane, and Sally was a headcase, I have no reason to believe that you are a headcase too because of what Sally did. Women do not think this way. If Harry was an idiot, they will assume Optional might be an idiot too, and begin to play games. That has been my observation, zero tolerance is my policy.
you have just witnessed the "real" 777. a person of wisdom, intellect and the ability to communicate same. thank you, 777, for the communique. best, surf