What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican: Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools. A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record and where he was when he was supposed to be in the Texas Air National Guard is none of our business. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born( in perpetuity.) What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail. Molly Buford
What you need to believe to be a Democrat.... 1) Everything bad in the world is George Bush's fault. 2) If it's bad for the United States, I must support it. 3) When in doubt, see #1.
That is so true on #1. My ex-girlfriend was a tree hugging Bush Hater. All of society Ills could be traced back to George W Bush. She cried when I refused to vote for Kerry........bwaaahahahahahahahahaha (even though I did not vote for W) fan27
GOP moderates should worry when religion trumps reason ROBYN BLUMNER Article Published: 03/27/06, 2:55 am In a rare public outing in which he took spontaneous questions, President Bush was asked in Ohio whether he had a biblical view of the war in Iraq and saw it as an apocalyptic struggle for the Middle East. "The answer is, I haven't really thought of it that way," Bush responded. "First, I've heard of that, by the way. I guess I'm more of a practical fellow." This is a difficult to believe from our born-again president, who initially used the word "crusade" to define America's fight against Islamic terrorists and who justified going to war in Iraq with nomenclature straight out of the "Left Behind" series by preacher Tim LaHaye. Former Republican strategist Kevin Phillips writes in his new book, "American Theocracy," that Bush's call to remove Saddam Hussein included "jeering at the United Nations," proclaiming the evil of Saddam and pretending that democracy, not oil, was the motive. According to Phillips, that script followed almost precisely what LaHaye had written in his "Left Behind" books. ADVERTISMENT Not to say that we are at war in Iraq solely or even primarily because the president thinks it will hasten the end times. Just that it did not escape the administration's notice that certain ideas resonate with the 60 million readers of "Left Behind," of which an estimated 15 million to 20 million are U.S. voters. This rapture-and-Armageddon crowd, more than any other group, make up the president's base. It is flatly disingenuous for Bush to claim that he never before considered the biblical currency of America vs. Iraq. Phillips, who was a Republican star when he wrote "The Emerging Republican Majority" in 1969 and predicted the ascendancy of the party, is now the town crier, warning America about what is to come if the party remains in power. According to Phillips, the dominating influence of fundamentalists and evangelicals on politics has "warped the Republican Party and its electoral coalition, muted Democratic voices, and become a gathering threat to America's future." When faith trumps reason, you get people in power such as James Watt, the former interior secretary under Ronald Reagan, who sought to exploit America's natural resources because, as he explained: "My responsibility is to follow the Scriptures which call upon us to occupy the land until Jesus returns." And for those who think this is only a phase and the pendulum is bound to swing back, think again. As demographer Phillip Longman of the New America Foundation points out in Foreign Policy this month, fundamentalism's growth is a long-term trend worldwide. The reason is simple, Longman says. The kinds of people and societies that embrace "patriarchal religion" simply outreproduce "today's enlightened but slow-breeding societies." The 2004 presidential election illustrates the trend. Longman says fertility rates among the states that went for Bush were 12 percent higher than those backed Sen. John Kerry. Children born to parents who embrace patriarchy, tradition, nationalism and rigid religiosity are highly likely to adopt these views and vote for the party that reflects the same values: Republican. Kevin Phillips may be ringing the alarm that the Republamentalists are dragging this nation down. But pretty soon there won't be enough of us left to do much more than go along for the ride.
At the time environmentalists were working very hard to get all people out of "the land" and let it go back to whatever it was before technology. They succeeded in buning up a tremendous share of the national forests, most recently in California where nearly the whole state went up in flames rather than let family people have the materials to build or heat their houses. I know one of the assholes actually, it is funny, he is working very hard to limit the raw materials for houses but he is such a miser he never bought a house and his krappy apartment rent is going up all the time.. he he. What goes around.....
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying. Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over." Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!" The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican party."