Oh, fine, now you tell me...after I have embarked on my rambling discourse. Well, you can take some comfort in the fact that, for every woman who fears men, there is probably at least one man who fears women. And so it goes...
I did not lose it exactly overnight....long story...had a vision of myself dying and at the moment of death experienced a profound sense of understanding....I was given the answer to life and death....then woke up and it was gone (the universal answer that is)...damn.... hate that when it happens but since then haven't had the fear of death.
1. That I will never have or have done anything to be proud of 2. It's hindered me because I set standards so high they are impossible to meet. So I always fall short of the bar. It has made me miss opportunities that I wrongly thought were'nt worth my time. 3&4. I could lower my standards, but... I cant. Then it won't be worthy of being 'proud of'.
Joe Campbell mentioned in a man's life (sorry ladies) there are two phases: 1. The outward journey and then 2. the inward journey The outward journey is what you do when young, you explore and conquer. The inward journay is all about introspection and i believe death. I think it begins at midlife when you first understand your own mortality. Coming to some sort of reconciliation with death is important to being able to live the second half of your life. For most it is religion and the answer is of course immortality so as to render the fear moot. For people like me it is sort of stoic resignation and the determination to not waste the time I have left. Think of it this way, you are already the walking dead, so just feel lucky you have some borrowed time. With all that though my single biggest fear is losing my son. I have no idea how I could find a reason to exist without him in this world. Recently a co-worker's son was shot in Iraq. The kid has a head wound and probably will not live. My fears were vicariously realized for this poor guy, terrible stuff.
Mine is being paralyzed in a car or motorcycle accident. I wouldn't be able to live if I couldn't walk. I would kill myself. I have the greatest respect and admiration for those that can live their lives in a wheelchair. I sold my 'donor machine' as well as my 158 mph top speed car. I guess I won't have any more nightmares and wake up in a sweat as my nightmare is being put to rest.