i want to skip the whole venting step and instantly forget about the loss, and instead use that information to make a better trade, if possible...
Failing to debrief myself. This requires leaving the market; getting out a sheet of paper or two; 1. writing up what happened; 2. writing up what I want to be happening for myself (skip what the market is supposed to do); 3. Accepting what I want my performance to be under the circumstance. (accepting 2.) and 4. moving on by putting the "four stepper" in my journal. If something goes amiss, then you are responsible. taking responsibility for it is important. You will see around here ther are some "blammer" types posting. Mostly people haven't taken responsibility for staying in the market when they do not know what is going on. If you do not know what is going on, you have to sideline to consider where you are not able to function. A good thing to notice when you losse money is that someone other than you does know how to make money when you don't. If you have a crummy way of trading, that is a neat place to consider improvement.
bung, I think the only way to do that (especially for a system trader) is to not even look at the quotes between trades. Enter the trade, don't watch it, and wait for the exit signal. One trader used to futz around with his trades so much that he would minimize all of the charting and quote windows and just wait for the alert - made him much better. By the way, I think most traders who say they don't get upset by losses are full of shit and are just repeating something they read from a psychologist trader wannabe who can't really trade. The less emotional investment you have in the trade (feeling the ticks so to speak), the better prepared you may be to just enter the next trade.
The worst thing you can do is blame yourself! It's easy to blame someone else. Just remember your system is fine. It's just the f*%cking crooked scammers and market manipulators who are screwing your orders around and making you lose money.