Not that simple. Wide spreads can also mean little or no volume. Little or no limit orders on the book to hedge with. Basically more risk, so wider spreads. I'd rather be a MM in options that trade in nickels with volume than options with wide spreads that never trade. Getting back to the question, there is order flow. "Good" order flow is money in the bank. "Toxic" overflow can get expensive for those that make markets. There is no good way for a customer to get a look at order flow before it hit the order book on the exchange.
Nearly every thread about trading invokes the "10,000 hours to mastery" meme. But there are many, many burnouts on this site who used to be able to make money -- and spend tens of thousands of hours beavering away at it -- till the markets changed post- 2008. Just spending hours is useless, if you have no edge. It's like a golfer hacking his way around the course year after year without taking lessons.
Most market veterans and industry veterans who have decades and decades of experience are most likely just barely making market-matching returns, at-best. And you are right, most people beat their heads against the wall year-after-year...magically expecting a divine miracle of change, thinking they are simply paying their dues...and the Market will reward them with a waterfall of money soon enough, You can't teach old, stubborn hound dogs new tricks. The best people, or traders, who are performing at their prime...will most likely have around 4-8 years of market experience to fully workout the various kinks away from their craft, ,