What did I miss, I went to take a dump and markets crashed

I was taking a dump and when I finished wiping and pulling my pants back up and low and behold as I look at the screens, the S&P took a violent drop.

Can someone give me a quick synopsis on what I missed?

 

The market is "in sync" with your intestinal tract. Eat a lot of Mexican food for lunch, please.

 

Dolloar keeps getting stronger.... lately the correlation between the market and Dollar has been very high. Markets were trying to ignore this fact all morning. Eventually it took its toll.

 

the market has also been constipated.

 

Dude, we're down 2 handles in the spoos. Finish your schoolwork and you can go out and play this afternoon.

 

id call this an out-and-out crash!
we are down 3 points on the day.
Panic stations!!!

 

CNBS vocabulary says thats a "buying opportunity" lol

 

"Buy the dip" said the cartoon character with the robotic voice.

 

that's why they call him KINGOFSHITS

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jllJ-HeErjU