Hey guys - this looks like the perfect day to start my journal. If I look at my raw numbers I'm down -7083 so far today and -83132 for the year - the day is not over yet. Let me quickly introduce myself. My name is Matthias - I am a 48 yo software dev manager born in Germany living in Colorado, married, 2 kids. I've been trading 20+ years (you couldn't tell based on my P&L this year) and caught the trading bug when I was new to the country, lived in Chicago and was working for an options company on Lasalle. I struggle somewhat with addiction/all or nothing mindset and typically try to channel a lot through fitness (I love to race bikes) - although recently I've mostly channeled them through weed - hence my hope this journal (which I hope will be a tool for accountability) will help me. I'm about 4 ish years from retirement - at least that's the plan and hope to post twice a week on here. As far as my trading goes - I'm trading two systems, thetagang/wheel is one of them - cointegrated pairs stock/futures trades is the second system. I reduced my account balances today to protect myself from myself - I've seen this movie before where I get too frustrated, so right now my balances are: 306.000 TD IRA 553.000 TD Portfolio Margin Account (I'm using 400.000 in margin) 280.000 IB Portfolio Margin Account (I'm using 170.000 in margin) 75.000 Tastyworks Futures Account (I'm using 12.000 in margin) My overall net worth (not liquid but everything) is ~ 4M with quite some fluctuations and I'm looking at spending at least 500.000 on colleges the next four years. I usually do best when I follow (and trust) "the process" and don't questions things too much - I'm hoping this journal will help me with this.