" You got nice eaves..." Generally the slope of one's roof would not elicit much response and so it was with some confusion to me that my painter kept mentioning the space in my attic. " whew that's some eaves you got up there... you could really get something going up there..." A few days later unsolicited my painter drops off some books on growing marijuana. " I saw that pipe you left out on the sink and I thought you might like to read this..." " You know the vedgies don't look so good out in the garden, I went out there, I hope you don't mind; but ey boy you could really grow a few plants in there easily... if you wanted to; really save yourself some big money.... and this is lush soil here, and good growing climate for weed. If you want to let me know... Come visit my plants if you like..." The recession hits hard. The bills are much harder to pay and they seem to come in unrelenting waves. When you live by the sword you often bleed by the sword if you can't bring in enough income. The weed is a drag it costs a lot. Too much in New York I'm bleeding green. I'm in the garden up in Ct and I'm pulling weeds like crazy to forget about the market I'm also going a bit crazy. It all stared it seems when I borrowed my brother's car... isn't that always the way... Not speaking now... After a long hot drive I was easing out of a parking spot, maybe five miles an hour and bam... some freaky cab driver hit me... i was just so pissed I drove away. I hoped no one else cared but just in case I said this mantra for protection 108 times that my wife gave me off the Net'... and it was days later with the market in freefall that I read the little addendum to the mantra... do not misuse this for bad selfish purpose or the yada yad dark curse will be on you, etc.... Ever since it's been a snowball of bad events.. If I can make a choice at a fork in the road- one has all the traffic at standstill you could imagine... and the other is scott free i will make the wrong choice now... I'm in a jinx phase... my wife thought the car engine was finally sounding good for once and I had to tell her that's cause we lost the muffler we got a problem. And I motored on into the hills of Ct as long as I could stand it sounding like a low rider as everyone sped buy in their fancy cars... and we all got so damn sleepy from the fumes... The hot water heater went out on me and I called the emergency gas number which was big for me and they came out and left and next morning bam same problem, now it's a sunday... call again. Figure out how to jump start it myself another mini breakthrough... I'm defeating fears left and right but they keep coming. The aforementioned painter... I got such a great quote... $1,800.00 wow it was so good I went and bought a bunch of really expensive wall paper. Turns out the contractor who really could care less, misread the quote it was... $11,800.00. Well take my breath away- this is what it costs to paint a couple rooms with a lot of annoying windows these days?... Alas I painted houses twenty five years ago when $9k usually got the whole exterior done... Bills are killing me and they are coming faster and faster. New couch, new rug, new dining table, chairs, lights... it just keeps coming like a relentless attack of bees of which they are quite a few up there in Ct. And all this for a freakin' weekend house. Somehow it's so worth it. It's freeing in a way and terrifying. The wildlife is keeping me sane and the birds. I'm really getting into birds the wood pecker is a fierce creature, a great red headed mowhawked fellow fought off a Blue Jay in front of me, an extended battle. Great stuff... I felt like Richard Attorborro leaning out my window with my pipe watching...all the little woodpeckers are cool and we have two huge ravens really scary fucking birds Vlad is one we're not sure yet the other they swoop down onto our deck because I leave food out. Scary. We have teenage robins everywhere. The bird scene is intense... But it's boring too. A man in this situation needs to till his weed I think and I'm wondering if a gentlemen farmer I am to be.~ stoney