Ways to Make Saddam Talk

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by dougcs, Dec 15, 2003.

  1. After a recent non stop flight from LA to Sydney, Australia (about 15 hours), I have concluded that we could make him talk by having him make this or similar trip in the economy section, in the middle seat with large guys on either side for a week, going both ways of course.

    At the end of the week, we tell him he now has enough frequent flyer miles to do it again, and we took the liberty of booking him on the next available flight.

    Upon hearing this, he will tell us where the WMD are, where OSB is hiding, and where Waldo is, as well as anything else we want to know.

    My wife, after hearing this idea, and being concerned about the growing deficit suggested we could cut it down to 2 or 3 days if we let her mother sit next to him, replacing one of the fat guys.

    DS
     
  2. Pretty funny ... I sympathize with your plight (I mean flight...wait, both!)..

    I had to sit next to a rather small Asian woman on a flight from Tokyo to Minneapolis in September. I think it was about 20 hours. You would think it would be better than sitting between two large men (which I have also done).

    But this little old lady was wearing a very heavy and seemingly very old wool coat (it was about 90 degrees fahrenheit when we got on the plane, and probably 80 or so when we got off). The coat never came off of her ancient body the entire time.

    And guess what? The heavy old wool coat smelled exactly like.....a heavy old wool coat! With side orders of BO and mothballs.

    It was torture! I was almost tempted to spend the flight sitting on a toilet seat, but I realized I needed to use my legs again some time. There was going to be life after the flight. Besides, they served unlimited booze and lots of food (NWA). I figured I wasn't going to get much service in the lavatory.

    I can still smell that fucking coat! :eek:

    Peace,
    :)RS
     
  3. Inject him with IV smack every day for a month until he's addicted, then skip a day. When he gets totally junk sick, hold out a dose and say it would be his payment for some WMD info. It would totally work.
     
  4. lol, fuckin hilarious!
     
  5. Yeah, looking back it is.

    To make matters worse, I was in the middle seat at the bulkhead. My buddy I made the trip with thought the bulkhead seats would be very cool. So he booked them. His thought was that with no one in front of us, we would have more legroom. And being in the first row, we would have better service (which was true to an extent). And while it's true that the bulkhead is further away than a seat in front, you can get your feet under the seats in front. My legs had no place to go. Fortunately, I had rubber soles on my shoes, so I was able to put my feet up on the bulkhead, and they did not slip down. Still wasn't very comfortable.

    He is a short guy, so he had room. I am not short, so I had inadequate room. He somehow got the window seat, and I got the middle seat. He snored most of the way (after about 12 screwdrivers) and I couldn't sleep at all. And I had the smelly hag next to me on the other side.

    But there was a bit of justice. From my friend's window seat, he was too far off to the side to see the tiny video screen that was directly in front of me. So I got to see 4 or 5 movies, and he couldn't see them at all (not that he was sober enough, but he was still pissed).

    The hag managed to sleep the entire 20 hours. In her damn smelly coat.

    I guess she had better drug connections in Asia than we did.

    Peace,
    :)RS