WalMart Greeter Trading System

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe Doaks, Apr 7, 2008.

  1. As ET's most respected trading system developer, I receive many requests from retired traders who say "The wife is always nagging me to get a REAL job and quit this daytrading nonsense." She'll say "You could get a job as a four-hour-shift WalMart greeter. Even YOU could do that!" They say to me "Joe, can you give me a surefire system that will make as much as the morning shift at WallyMart? But without too much exposure to the market? You know I have a weak bladder and have to piss a lot. And a swollen prostate so it takes forever? Could you hold the trade duration down to about a minute?"

    Attached is my solution.
  2. I think it is very accommodating that you should offer a PSA trading method to the retired fellow in question: Prostate Specific Approach.
  3. Thank you. Some asshole in "Trading" just doubted my ass-sertion that it is possible to make 1% a day on your account. You clearly can, but you can't be greedy. PSA Trading. I like the sound of that. Can I use it in my marketing? I think the Hershey trading system is going to be looking for a replacement soon.
  4. I think that the daily 1% return may be a function of size. I suppose it is the smaller members among us who can go in and out more quickly...

    As for the name, please feel free to consider it your own for marketing purposes, be it an all-out campaign or merely relying on a trickle down approach.
  5. Thank you for your generous gift. You have a way with words that is totally foreign to me as a burnt-out old engineering failure. For any ETer's foolish enough to be reading this, yes, you can make about 1% per car every day, but you have to have an ego as small as my dick to do it. That excludes about 99% of ET. Judging from their egos. I have not diddled enough of their wives to have good reports on proximate causes.
  6. Indeed. Having to transport one's ego in a sling or a wheelbarrow does tend to slow a person down appreciably, especially when the need arises to get away.
  7. Elephantiasis of the ego, haha! I remember over 50 years ago seeing in a medical journal a picture of a guy whose balls were so swollen he needed a wheelbarrow. Maybe that'w why Jack's publicity photo only shows him above the waist.
  8. It may also explain his "always in" approach.
  9. I would like to be "always in", but at my age I can't keep it up that long. Interesting that when I repeatedly show ET with execution reports how to make 1% per day per car, nobody asks me how. They're all shooting for that 3X daily range, I guess, and contemptuous of my pissant little $35 trades.
  10. Perhaps it is telling that they should be so responsive to claims that promise to increase their range size.
    #10     Apr 7, 2008