Father, why hast thou forsaken me? Why have you ordered me to plumb the depths of stupidity of this desolate place that makes a graveyard look like a disco?
The IRS decides to audit deadbroke, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when deadbroke shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money trading. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great trader, and I can prove it,' says deadbroke. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' deadbroke says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' deadbroke removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. deadbroke says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell deadbroke isn't blind, so he takes the bet. deadbroke removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with deadbroke's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' deadbroke asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. deadbroke stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But deadbroke's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when deadbroke told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'
Thanks to kinggyppo for this video: <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mAjYSq9tn4w?version=3&feature=player_detailpage"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mAjYSq9tn4w?version=3&feature=player_detailpage" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>
I don't know where gold goes, but the logic of what they are saying seems inescapable to me. How you choose to capitalize on it is another thing.
Putting the thread back on track for the dead, boring cunts therein http://money.cnn.com/2011/10/06/news/economy/thebuzz/index.htm