Unforeseen trading problem, other people hate success

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by DreamerLikeYou, Jan 25, 2009.

  1. I've noticed this as well. People who don't understand what you do (trading) seem to be insecure and become jealous of you for doing it. It's pretty silly, but I see it all the time. And you're right, people do hate seeing others succeed, because it makes them feel less successful.
    #11     Jan 25, 2009
  2. It makes a lot of sense. Look at this website. When ever anyone has a story of good fortune, they are preyed upon and mocked by the ET gallery of experts. However, negative stories are met with embrace and warmth.

    Many years ago, when I was selling, the sales manager told me the best words of advice. This is a game of poker and you want to show them only as much as they need to know. The manager was really telling me about the art of the deal, but his words were the best words about life that I have ever heard.

    So, you only want to display to people only as much as they need to know. You dont know how other people may react in what way or how jealous they will get of what you are doing in life. You want to keep your life a secret from everyone and only tell them so much. Even your own family should only know so much about the things you do.

    When you are around anyone to include family and good friends, tell them only so much. They dont need to know exactly what you do or how much you make. They are not your accountant or attorney. Tell them that you are in the financial business, but do not elaborate. If they start to dig further, just get even vaguer.

    The more you tell people about yourself, the more edge they will have over you. Its always good to be vague and to spin things in a generic way leaving out details. Details are for your accountant and attorney, not anyone else.

    Unfortunately, this is how it is in life. You simply cant trust anyone with full disclosure. Get used to it, live with it.

    #12     Jan 25, 2009
  3. indexer


    I agree with the last post. Comparison is a source of misery. If you want to keep your old friends and stay friends with your family, be as vague as you can about your success. If all else fails, tell them you were lucky.

    You would think that people would share your joy at being successful after all your hard work, but that is not how it works. Your success makes others feel small. It is the conundrum of success.
    #13     Jan 25, 2009
  4. yes indexer I agree

    though I start to wonder, just how nice are we as people

    maybe we are all bastards but don't even know it
    #14     Jan 25, 2009
  5. It is termed Envy.
    #15     Jan 25, 2009
  6. yes but the whole point is how IT is not a constructive emotion for the person doing it
    #16     Jan 25, 2009
  7. Indexer's method is one way to go but i differ in opinion.

    Im usually rather discreet about my trading successes to people i do not know well or have just met. However, if a close friend asks, i usually tell them my successes as well as my failures.

    My thoughts are, i want friends who are willing to be happy and supportive of a fellow friend who is trying to become sucessful. If they are not, then it is not worth being their friend.

    I love having a chat with them about financial s n such. If they ask me about how to trade, i happily offer to teach them what i know.

    If it comes to family, im even more open about it. Im not married but i do want someone who will support me in what i do and maybe even help me in trading or other business endeavors.

    A lot of people get married on Romance only and that leads to a lot of problems. Although, i believe in marriage based on romance, money also plays a major factor that is often omitted. Marriage is a business partnership in many ways and if the partners r on totally different pages, it will cause major issues.
    #17     Jan 25, 2009
  8. nlslax


    When you trade, it can put you on the other side of the table from everyone else. I trade spreads mostly and I don't do as well as most on ET (or at least not as well as people say they do) but we were way ahead of the crowd (positive) for '08 and am positive so far this year. I don't talk our results and my trading assistant knows (now) to keep his mouth shut. People either think you're full of it or they just end the subject and take you off the BBQ list.
    #18     Jan 25, 2009
  9. Other people hate your success. The most envious are the ones who really want be the most sucessfull themsevles and if they ever did become rich (they never will) they would do the most to brag and show off about it.

    There was a saying i heard someone half jokingly say on the internet a few months ago, went something like:

    "We all want our friends to be successful but not too much"

    Thats probably true of most people, but some are much more envious than others.
    #19     Jan 25, 2009
  10. Tell people about your deepest drawdowns.

    Trading is not a walk in the park where money grows on trees.

    Envious people should be reminded of that.

    At least most people have a job that doesn't take their money if they slacked off or goofed.
    #20     Jan 25, 2009