Nitro's quote What is the "solution"? Never put money and inanimate objects in front of people. Don't live in fear. Work hard but never forget to play hard and laugh alot. Marry a friend - that means you have to become friends first and not lovers, usually. Nitro - you forgot "Dance like no one is watching." pleeeeaaaaazeee! 1. NONE of the above requires marriage, aka long term liabilities. 2. 60% to 67% of marriages in Califa end in divorce. buy insurance, aka stop loss, aka prenup. you wouldnt put on a trade and go to the moon, right? 3. are you the same person at 50 yo that you were at 20? of course not! do you expect your mate to be? of course not! 4. this kinda muddled, mushy thinking is what puts guys in the poor house for eternity while their wife, kids and wifey's boyfriend live in his mansion. they are blindsided when their "friend" cleans them out and their best buddy is screwing the ex (ex-friend???), raising their kids and spending their money. a marriage is a contract and if you dont believe it, talk to some buddies who have been through divorce court - and divorce court is NOT fair. set the terms of partnership dissolution before you enter the partnership - and marriage is a legal partnership. once again, i think you can be sued for LIFETIME support after 10 yrs of marriage in Cali. unless you figure on coming around again, a LIFETIME just about covers it for most of us. 5. did you plagerize this from a Hallmark card? nitor says: I"If you marry believing you need a prenupt, I claim you are already off balance in your relation and are entering a mirrage that is anti-percentage." 1. one last thing... this preachy b.s. is kinda based upon "the guy gets what he deserves, or if you get divorced you're defective." this is a load of phooey! when a COUPLE divorces - note its COUPLE - the wife can choose to dump your ass - an unknown 3rd party is gonna decide what happens to your assets, your children, your income, YOUR LIFE. is he/judge having a bad day? is she/judge a flaming feminist? is something about you aggrevating to the judge? i once had a psychologist tell me that i reminded her of someone she didnt like:eek: (im pretty sure it was her dad or ex-husband - she wasnt my type anyway.) my ex- and i split things down the middle and i pay every month, which for all the kidding, i dont mind as my children live very well. my ex- remarried with a guy, who i bend-over backwards to help and be nice to... i bought him software on my license and trained him in my profession (for free), but he wasnt wired to do what i do - no problem. turns out, he's ,kinda a player with some "hang-ups", so i had to consult some professionals to get answers regarding being around my children. this is serious, so just b/c you divorce you dont just shake hands and walk away. one last time: be VERY, VERY careful in your choice as a mate. negotiate the break-up before you form the partnership. set aside a disaster fund. always remember that no one gets married expecting to divorce and that you are not SO special that bad things cant happen to you. and do all those things that Nitro suggest, but cover you ass too.
paul mccartney's ex is to get $250ml divorce settlement. paul is worth a billion. when was this crasy law foisted upon men. why are they awarding her $250ml. she never ever knew that kind of money, nor could she need that kind of money to live on following the divorce. her wifely commitements to paul certainly could not in fairness have earned it. she was not a contributor to his musical career. she simply followed him around and warmed his bed at night.
well, we're all certainly hoping for the fantasy island that nitro is talking about, but the reality you are giving is all too true. *** much respect to this guy, he's a big man if he's even done half the sh*t he's described here. i know i wouldn't do it ... i'd head for the hills, because this brotha ain't try'in to do no time behind no bey-atch! (like my younger brother did, kick'in some fools ass who was mess'in wit his baby mama) Gotta get ready for work. Adios gents. JJ
People have problems to distinguish reality from theories and cliches for two reasons: They have no clue what they are talking about and have a need to pretend they do, reality is unacceptable (too painful), all at the same time.
QQQ, there are two side to every story. Your marriage is what you make it. Sounds to me that you mixed blood with money with the inlaws business deal. It also sounds like that your marriage was more focused on money than on the fundamental values that make up a good marriage.
MY MARRIAGE WAS NOT FOCUSED ON MONEY, BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE THAT MOST OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS FOCUS ON MONEY. mixing biz with the family was a big mistake, but ultimately i married the wrong person - my bad, i was naive. people will hear what they want, i point to the divorce stats and FACT that marriage is a legally binding contract. sit down with an atty before you commit to a very important contract with life long responsibilities (liabilities?), just as you would on any other contract potentially involving millions of $$$, your children and your sanity. read back thru the thread and focus on the people that have experience in divorce court and PM them and ask if they believe that a prenup is a bad idea; or better yet, ask someone in your extented family whose opinion you trust. i am not saying my ex- was a bad person, or that she is a bad mother... i am saying that divorce court sucks and its much better to have an agreement in place - then you can agree to modifications, or she can fight you on it, but you know where you stand. whatever age you are now, think about cutting your assets in at least 1/2 and writing a check for the next 22 years, not a little check either...
QUOTE]Quote from QQQBALL: many a time i told her just to shut-up and id make her rich - she didnt even have to help, just shut-up. i realized that was asking too much. i used to get up early on sundays (3-4 am), work all day and just get tons of stuff done. i remember i went home one sunday at dinner time and she said to me "you never take me dancing anymore". [/QUOTE] Perhaps you just got dealt a shitty hand, but from your comments it seems the focus was money and not on the little things that make a marriage enjoyable.
My lyrics for QQQ She take my money when I'm in need Yea she's a trifflin friend indeed Oh she's a gold digga way over town That dig's on me [Chorus:] (She did me wrong Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm Need) But she aint messin wit no broke niggaz (She did me wrong) Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm need) but she aint messin wit no broke niggaz get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head [Verse 1:] Cutie the bomb Met her at a beauty salon With a baby louis vuitton Under her underarm She said I can tell you ROC I can tell by ya charm Far as girls you got a flock I can tell by ya charm and ya arm but I'm lookin for the one have you seen her My psychic told me she have a ass like Serena Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids An i gotta take all they bad ass to show-biz Ok get ya kids but then they got their friends I Pulled up in the Benz, they all got up In We all went to Den and then I had to pay If you f**kin with this girl then you betta be payed You know why It take too much to touch her >From what I heard she got a baby by Busta My best friend say she use to fuck wit Usher I dont care what none of yall say I still love her [Chorus:] (She did me wrong) Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm Need) But she aint messin wit no broke niggaz (She did me wrong) Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm need) but she aint messin wit no broke niggaz get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head [Verse 2:] 18 years, 18 years She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money She walkin around lookin like Micheal with ya money Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya moneeey If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup WE WANT PRENUP!, Yeaah It's something that you need to have Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half 18 years, 18 years And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his [Chorus:] (She did me wrong) Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm Need) But she aint messin wit no broke niggaz (She did me wrong) Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm need) but she aint messin wit no broke niggaz get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave) get down girl go head [Verse 3:] Now I aint sayin you a gold digger you got needs You dont want ya dude to smoke but he can't buy weed You got out to eat and he cant pay yall cant leave There's dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleeves But why yall washin watch him He gone make it into a Benz out of that Datson He got that ambition baby look in his eyes This week he moppin floorz next week it's the fries So, stick by his side I know his dude's ballin but yea thats nice And they gone keep callin and tryin But you stay right girl But when you get on he leave yo a** for a white girl Get down girl go head get down Get down girl go head get down get down girl go head get down get down girl go head (can you play that back)
why thank you Volente. there is fault on both sides; and what's done is done - im really not the marrying kind anyway. she remarried, so the new guy is really butt-hooked now! i was really happy for me when he married her. yeah! BTW, check on the main reasons given for divorce.... i bet "money" is above "little things". when we went for marriage dissolution, there was no claim made on the "little things", unless you count jewelry. i know those hot super models are dating rich guys for the "little things". hell i know im flawed, but im not full of b.s. and listening non-stop to the "Best of Bread" and "Barry Manilow." some of you guys are dreaming - hell even Anna dates losers and she seems to kinda have it together. ive done my community service here, particularly for the younger guys from broken homes - aint none of their mamas telling them to get prenups. like Buffet says, Noah built the Arc before it started raining... some will marry well and live mostly happily, stats say most wont, i say invest $1k-$5k in a prenup or whatever it costs- thats not even a week's worth of spousal support/child support these days... seems like cheap insurance, but ive been thru it and so have others here... some of you guys think about paying even $6k-$10k/month like alot of "regular" guys - i think its like 55% or 60% of your adjusted gross if you have 2 kids - the rest you get to use to pay taxes and try to live! trading? forget it sucker, your asshole will pucker so tight when a position moves against you, you'll be passing raisins.... and thats after she cleans out your asset base and you assume all the consumer debt. good luck suckers, you'll still have the little things(but likely very little else)!