I would agree with Pekelo. Find a firm where you have free access to a simulator, or a side demo account also. Sit down and study where you keep blowing it out. If it is using planned trades then there is most likely a fault with your planned trades. If it is a lack of discipline to stick to a plan, then obviously you need to solve that before losing real money or giving money to another one of these pay to play places. Thanks for posting what is really happening! Translate that honesty to yourself and an evaluation of your trading. It will help you be successful.
@Pekelo has a very good idea. I opened an account with @Ninja Mobile Trader VPS an ET sponsor. I am only SIM trading for now. cost for data and SuperDom only $39/month. I think it is even less if you don't want to use SuperDom.
Apparently you are NOT doing something right since you said the account went to shit, and are contemplating trying again. Ask yourself this...If it was your own money, would you have had to close at the end of the day, thus suffering the catastrophic loss?
I KNOW what's wrong with me. It's been there since I was young. I AM A SORE LOSER. I DO NOT CARE IF I AM RIGHT OR WRONG. I JUST HATE LOSING. I'm the road rage guy. I'm the don't get mad get even guy. I'm the one who acts first then thinks later. I actually have hurt family before and myself to this day but that's another discussion. Sadly, I am that guy. So there. Tough business to be in with a mind like mine.
Account is closed. I'll just create a new thread for new account. I'm just not sure whether it'll be a micro account or another shot at TopStep.
I tried to delete that post before you saw it, because I noticed you DID provide an update. Alas. What I wonder is...What instruments did you trade, how many, etc etc, and would you have been forced to close your positions if you had a $150K cash account in your own name. Which leads me to another question...Have you ever traded futures with real money in the past? If so, you will realize how STUPID and UNPRODUCTIVE those rules they have can be. TST are playing the Hell song all day in their offices, waiting for people.
On a $150K account, your $4200 open PnL is -3% drawdown thereabouts. You past the arbitrary limit by $9.02. NINE DOLLARS AND TWO CENTS! There's a video for that...