oddiduro: There is some good advice posted here. If you do a search, you might find a thread that was going a couple months ago, forget the name. It deals with jealously, envy, and such. There was a book by a German author (sorry don't have the name), title is "Envy.....". Look on Amazon, it was listed there, library may carry it. Supposed to be a good social study on these issues. From experience, and posts on ET, your experiences are not out of the ordinary for this profession. Think that many generous folks can be attracted to trading for it's freedom and challenges (aside from monetary rewards). When they submerge themselves in the culture of their passion (trading), they are often unaware of the changes that they go through to obtain success. Others around them start to see differences, and think that it's the "money" that is exerting it influence. When one realizes that the "money" is mostly the result of changes, we have to grow to become profitable, you start develop different paradigms. The world can seem turned around from our old comfort zone. What I am getting at is, often when your profitability obviates itself, it is a sign of growth- change. Change represents uncertainty to many. As such, many folks are reluctant to expand their comfort zone, you becoming profitable brings change - or represents uncertainty - uncertainty = discomfort = pain- into their lives. And since uncertainty also represents pain for many, they attack that which is perceived to pose a threat - cause discomfort = pain. Whether the pain of realizing that they did not go after their dreams, or perhaps never had any to begin with, or what have you. After awhile, you may come to exhibit come to exhibit a degree of understanding, or may have to do what many others - including myself - have done, and this is to distance yourself from others that do not support you. Another remedy, is to practice and display as many of the classical virtues as one can. Gentility can carry one far. I can tell you from my experience that there is a degree of lifestyle re-engineering that takes place outside of simply getting in tune with the markets. Some of us go so far as to virtually fade from view so that we can enjoy our pursuits without distraction and the scorn of others. It's not easy dumbing yourself down to gain autonomy, but sometimes necessary. To paraphrase some else's statement, "remember, what people say to or about you, is not so much a commentary on your person, but perhaps, somewhat of a confession about them." I'll post a link to the previous thread if it turns up. In the meantime, good trading and much success to you.
If your family and friends aren't mature enough to handle your success then first you have my sympathies. Second, you probably need to learn to separate your personal business from your personal relationships. Just make it a non-issue. They'll either learn to deal with it or they won't. If that doesn't work then get new friends and simply inform your family that they are not allowed to discuss your business. Regards, Dr.Zhivodka
Another reason for jealousy is that most people just don't understand how much work trading can be. They think you are just taking other peoples money. If someone is working hard at a 40-60 hour a week job to make $90K, and here you work 9:30-4:00 and make the same, and without a boss, deadlines, etc... Well, they might feel like you didn't earn the money, as they did. And, people can be happy for you and jealous at the same time.
And not only that, they think all you do is hit a buy and then hit a sell button and cash in. Changino! Or go short then cover. Most people don't think it's work. But it is WORK, because of the hundreds if not thousands of hours you put into learning your craft and perfecting. It's kinda like this. On a good day when everything lines up, you can make more money in the first 10mins then you make in a few days. On a bad day you will lose money and sit there all day and not make a nickel as you bang your head trying to eke out a single penny of profit. Or a bad week is even worst. Does the average person know how hard it is to get to stage of profitability? Most people just see the rewards but not the risk and hardship it takes to get to trading mastery. And they are jealous because all they see if we sit there in front of a computer and just buy and sell and make $. it's not that easy. misc
Don't give friends cash. Never thought of it that way. Thanks, very good post. I have a very generous personality type.
I would agree with an inner change that happens. I have spent more on my education in the markets than I thought. One day, for fun, I looked at all the trading books and software I have acquired to learn our trade, and it was something like 16,000 dollars. Then there was the man hours, which at one point was around 20 per day. Finally there were the losses, which was around 20,000 over the first three years. No one sees this though. When I would be asked about how things were then, I would tell them. Some would say quit, others would just smirk, but for some reason I never doubted that I would be good at this one day. Now that I am doing well, I am still the same open book, but the reaction are certainly different now. Thanks to all posters, I am beginning to understand. Beginning.
I already advise : never tell how much you win. People are always jealous. As for trading it is true that it is insane that speculators - myself including - are just thiefs although the majority won't recognise it but we are stealthing the work, the life and in fact liberty of others people. If I accept to do so is that I want to stealth the thiefs themselves and reinject in the econonomy. So their reaction is also justified as for trading although they do not understand what trading is they have the right intuition: it is not work that is proportional to the effort. Of course many will fail and many will succeed just by chance and one day will have to give back but for the real successful traders yes I dare say it's really insane to win huge multiples of ordinary salaries in a rather short time.