Through the Looking Glass

Discussion in 'Journals' started by illiquid, Mar 6, 2010.

  1. ammo

    ammo

    your self image as portrayed in these posts reeks of guilt,this is a rearing method i grew up with, i don't know your age but i assume your mentors overdid it,nothin wrong with that , pretty common actually,but at some point you need to give it up, some of the things we learn growing up and hold as truths to live by arent true at all, just something taught to children, who grow up, don't change and teach to their children and so on. Your neighbor, the guy at the bar,gym,golfcourse,the market.... don't give 2 shits that you bought 35 and sold 27 or vice verca, it doesnt matter to anyone but you. It shouldn't matter to you either. I am a lousy golfer,so when i hit a bad shot,usually the short one up to or onto the green, and the put,i dont worrry about it before or after,and go on to the next hole. Your trading should be the same way. Once a trade is over ,move on to the next one, think of all your trades as a big collage of trades with an end result. Its just a game,realizing that will allow you to not give a shit about the small stuff (yourself)and concentrate on the big picture,your account.
     
    #41     Mar 15, 2010
  2. Redneck

    Redneck


    :) Absolutely
     
    #42     Mar 15, 2010
  3. Redneck

    Redneck

    Illiquid,

    First let me start off by saying; I will be essentially saying, albeit in a very wordy way, exactly what Ammo has already said – most all of it – you, me, whatever – is just plain ole small shit – and needs to be discarded when we trade…


    But I will attempt to connect some dots and maybe provide a path for you to get to the point where it is all small shit…


    To Ammo & my other colleagues / friends – critique the hell out of this and if you find where I’ve misstated something – or it does not make sense – call me on it please


    To any detractors;

    Before someone pops off and says something to the affect – oh look RN is posting some feel good crap

    a.) I go into the market everyday to take your money
    b.) You screw up – I’ll cut you off at the knees – and not give it a second thought
    c.) I screw up you will cut me off at the knees – and take my money
    d.) Anyone out there want to volunteer to be my best friend and pony up my losses during trading hours, and/ or hold my hand while I trade

    Somehow I just don’t think it’s gonna happen…..

    So if we traders are not our own best friend - our own staunchest advocate, our own dispassionate (unbiased/ objective) observer, and our own strictest disciplinarian – then just who the hell will be?

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Okay let’s get going….

    Our only goal with regard to trading – make as much money as we can – while losing as little as possible

    Everything we think, believe, know, or do – as a trader – either supports our goal, or is excess (and obviously unnecessary) baggage

    To this end there always needs to be two sides working in unison – our system/ approach/ methodology, (aka our framework) – and you (or me as the case may be)

    Framework we got – so let’s focus on arguably the more important part – you (or me)….



    You – as a person

    Make friends with your self – we all need a friend we can trust completely when we’re trading

    And btw if you took your current best friend – I would bet a sizable amount of money he/ she has at least one – if not a few – habits/ traits you just don’t like (flaws) – but you’re friends with them nonetheless… You’ve accepted their flaws – granted you may not like them – but you have got past them just the same…

    So why the hell should you be any different when becoming your own friend… you don’t have to like everything about you – you just need to accept it – and move on

    You, me, any of us – we’re not perfect – accept that… And once you accept we’re (you, me all of us) are not perfect – then we must also accept the faults that make us imperfect…


    If we have something that needs fixed (a flaw we don’t like) then we should fix it – and move on… Otherwise we should just accept it – and move on…

    After all what other choice is there – relive it day after day – that’s about useless

    So bottom line is if you want to change one or more of whatever flaws you have then go for it, otherwise just accept the damn things, set em aside, and move on… They don’t mean shit (I’ve got plenty – do you really care – I don’t – neither does the market)

    To be certain our faults will never define us – our actions always will

    Enough about that…..



    Talk with yourself – more importantly listen closely without judging – that’s what a friend does isn’t it?

    Also accept you are human, and as such you have an inherent and undeniable emotional side which occasionally needs fed/ nurtured – so feed it – off market hours of course… I do…

    Because if you don’t make time and take the effort – I can guarantee your emotions will pick the absolute damn worst time to feed off you – while you are trading…


    Now do I give mine a bottle every day and sing them a lullaby – no – but I will not ignore them ether – unless for some reason I get the urge to hear the market sing “I’m gonna f@$k you” over and over in my head while I’m trading – No Thanks…

    This btw is another one of those phenomenon’s – the more attention I give my human/ emotional side – the less it needs – and the quieter it remains


    Oh and btw for the self professed robots – we all have a human/ emotional side – like it or not… To think otherwise means you’re denying reality (that you’re human) – and so that makes you’re full of shit to boot (not meant toward you Illiquid)


    So give yourself a break; and give yourself time – while away from the market – to just hang out with you….

    In a nutshell – get and keep the human side of Illiquid in order, so when its time to be a trader – you can temporarily and very easily set aside the human/ emotional side – and go about the business of trading…..

    Knowing full well during off market hours you will come back and give yourself all the time you need – for whatever


    So did I really just say people can cease to be people – no – I am saying people can set aside their human/ emotional side – and go about the business at hand….


    Examples

    Medical professionals – obviously have a human / emotional side… but when a sick / injured person comes in – they set aside their human / emotional side – and go about the business at hand…

    Military professionals – same thing – obviously have a human / emotional side, but when it’s time to go about the business of killing – they set aside their human / emotional side – and go about the business at hand…

    Airline pilots before a crash, police officers, firefighters, construction workers… the list goes on and on and on…..

    We’re no different – and just like these folks – we need our dedicated down time to rest, recoup, and feed our inner self – so when it time to go about the business at hand – we’re able

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Illiquid – we (your colleagues here) will never judge you, we (you included) are all on the same side of the looking glass – the side where most long to be, but few will ever get...

    To say we’re not egotistical, not self assured to the point of being downright cocky, not cut throat, nor greedy would be plain wrong – I would even venture to say there are probably a few of us who even doubt we deserve it – but we do…

    It would be just as wrong for you to say you don’t deserve to be here… that you don’t deserve the money.. You took the chance, just like the rest of us – you’ve worked you ass off, just like the rest of us – you face the day to day crap the market dishes out, just like the rest of us…

    It is time to get the hell out of your own way, quit sweating the small shit, and enjoy the ride…


    So I am saying exactly what Ammo has already said – most all of it – you, me, what we think, how we view ourselves, whatever – just plain doesn’t matter…



    My two main messages;

    Become your own best friend, be honest with yourself, learn to trust yourself, learn to accept your flaws – we all got em – and learn to set whatever flaws you have aside – they don’t matter..… (if you need to work on them - do so off hours – you’ll end up better for it I’m certain)

    Second – realize with regard to being a trader – none of it matters – simply focus on making all the money you can – while losing the least you can


    Hope this helps shed some light Sir

    RN
     
    #43     Mar 15, 2010
  4. RN,

    Can you give an example of what you mean by nurturing your human/emotional side during off-market hrs? what is it that you do specifically. Thanks
     
    #44     Mar 16, 2010
  5. Great post, RN. I truly respect you for attempting to help other traders and providing such insight.
     
    #45     Mar 16, 2010
  6. RN, you do a fantastic job of poking around the human psyche for traders. I will be first in line to buy your book on the subject when it comes out.

     
    #46     Mar 16, 2010
  7. NoDoji

    NoDoji

    The psych posts are free; however, RN will provide you with the keys to the trading kingdom for just $19,995.

    :D :D
     
    #47     Mar 16, 2010
  8. Redneck

    Redneck

    Kassz007

    Thank You Very Kindly Sir :)




    R1/ NOD

    Hmmmm let’s see we could title it – A dumbass redneck’s guide into the inter cranium trading warp continuum

    That’ll thoroughly confuse the crap out em….. :eek: :p :p



    You Both are the Greatest…

    RN
     
    #48     Mar 16, 2010
  9. Redneck

    Redneck



    Well this’ll be different….

    When away from the market (this is just a snip it btw)


    First what I don’t do…

    Let one or a series of trades ever define who I am

    Get caught up in the never-ending hyperbole, egotism, self absorb bs engulfing this business

    Listen to news, opinions, pundits, whatever


    What I do

    Sit quietly and think

    Talk to myself and listen

    Listen to Baroque music or a CD with rain sounds and Tibetan gongs to relax (although I listen to a wide variety of music)

    Compose poetry – and I suck at it big time

    Exercise – but not nearly enough

    Build and race cars (just dirt – nothing exotic or nascar-ish/ pavement)

    Fish/ hunt/ water ski (getting kind of old for the skiing though)

    Along with my wonderful my Wife – raise a couple of teenagers – and drive them all nuts in the process

    Hang out here


    What it really boils down to – is finding and deriving my understanding, peace, relaxation, joy, excitement, fun, competition, fulfillment, entertainment, companionship, whatever… from everywhere – except the market


    The market is where I go to work… And as we all know work is a four letter word – or more appropriately (I believe) – a grind


    Take Care
    RN
     
    #49     Mar 16, 2010
  10. RN,

    I want to thank you wholeheartedly for what you've written and apologize for the delayed response. Your post cuts right to the heart of the issue; anyone who's been at this for a number of years will recognize the sincere and simple honesty in your words.

    What struck me most directly was your point about taking care of oneself outside the market in order to flourish within it; it never occurred to me to think of trading as a profession where one must separate a part of himself to function optimally, as would a doctor or soldier. But it's dead on, and pretty much what I've been missing from the start. Instead, I've been bringing everything to the table with each market session and placing my emotions and ego on the line to twist along with my P/L. I've always known this was a problem, but never knew how to look at things in the proper light to begin addressing the situation until now. To expect the market to provide anything beyond what's in your bank account is outright hazardous; it will give and take indiscriminately and willfully whatever else you allow to be dependent upon it.

    I'm still in the midst of digesting everything you wrote. It's not an easy thing to finally accept what you thought you wanted was never there in the first place. It's something I've always suspected, but thought impossible to bear if true. For the first time, it feels OK to start from there. I know it will take a long time to rebuild within a newfound framework. But once you realize how ill-begotten and lopsided the present structure is, it's easy to see where to aim the first blow with the sledgehammer. Thanks again for pointing me in the right direction.
     
    #50     Mar 17, 2010