P/L for week 7/16: +11k on 520k shares -3, +8, +0, +5, +1 Overtraded a couple days (160k, 100k shares), but still resolved to keep my mind and equity focused on the best setups. I had overnight shorts throughout the week which kept me biased to the downside, but of course I end up taking them off wednesday and by luck of the setup draw found myself with all long positions thursday morning -- frustrating. Friday the "easy" money was on some repeat weak shorts but got too stubborn with "offsetting" longs; I think I'd probably make the worst spread trader ever. Again, I keep looking back on my days and get the feeling I'm making things alot harder than they need to be -- just too aggressive with the harder trades and not aggressive enough on the "obvious" ones. But it's just damn hard for me to make things that easy. I think a part of me just can't conceive/accept the possibility just yet.
Sorry for the extended hiatus! For those who are still curious, I had myself one final blowout session (around -18k) before I realized there were certain things I needed to settle mentally before I would ever right the ship again. Fortunately, I believe I've passed through to the other side, and I'm never looking back again. As for this journal, well, one of the earliest questions in this thread was why I wanted to start posting my results, after years of trading. I can now honestly recognize that it was mainly an egotistical exercise, a search for something I wasn't getting from just doing my job, a cry for some sort of acknowledgement, if that makes sense. And underneath it all was plain insecurity about my own existence as a trader, as evident from my inconsistent numbers. And so, one reason I am convinced that I've made a real breakthrough is that truthfully, I really don't feel the need to post my performance anymore. There's finally a satisfaction about what I'm doing day to day that I never had before, that makes posting the numbers on an anonymous forum sort of awkward in feeling now. I know this might sound kind of abrupt since I only started this journal a few months ago, but believe me when I say it's been years in the making. Now when I have a good session, I don't get headaches anymore; I can actually say, and believe, I've earned and deserved it. Sounds like progress right? Thanks for reading and contributing all, but there won't be anymore weekly numbers. I may come back to the thread to post on other issues and topics but I'm afraid the main attraction for most here has left the building. Anyways, the most the numbers could ever do for others is to say, yes, it can be done. That's all. Believe in it, then get to work.
Illiquid, Thank you for your insightful journal. Your writing accurately reflected many of the psychological demons that keep the majority from running a profitable trading business. Once we get our biases, stubbornness and ego out of the way, trading becomes, if not easy, at least profitable. In posting a long journal here, I finally realized my failures were the result of bias (forming an opinion of where price should go), stubbornness (refusing to believe price wouldn't eventually go there despite its clear opposition to my belief), and ego (assuming I knew best how to manage a trade, instead of letting a protective stop and profit target placed in advance take care of that for me automatically). I still struggle with these "trading demons" but at least now it's in a way that doesn't damage my account: I often have a bias, but when I do, I trade only when the trend is fully on my side or the opposing trend is reaching for its white flag. I sometimes leave a lot of potential profits behind by not taking trades that run against my bias, but at least I'm not throwing my money away fighting the trend. I'm often stubborn, refusing to believe price can possibly go further than it already has because it has absolutely gone too far already (too high to buy, too low to short). I've learned to either grit my teeth and buy that high or sell that low on a breakout, or just sit on my hands and whine when I miss another good leg in the trend. But at least I'm not throwing my money away fighting the trend. I still struggle against my "I know best" ego when it comes to putting on trades and managing trades. I very often see a signal/setup and talk myself out of it because [it's too overbought/oversold, the market's looking weak/strong, it's a bad time of day, it's a already gone too far that direction, news is coming in 15 minutes, Mercury's in retrograde, enter your favorite excuse here]. I often move my stop to break even, assuming the trade has gone far enough in my favor to safely lock out a loss, only to get stopped out close to the tick and watch price go straight to my profit target zone. I often take profits based on a particular level even when the price action is saying, "But wait, there's more!" But I am improving a little bit at a time. What it comes down to is: price knows best. You and I have no idea where price will actually go, but, like expert marketing specialists, we can figure out when an invitation to the price action party is enticing enough that a hell of a lot of people are expected to attend. That's when we, too, accept the invitation, and if it turns out the party's a dud, we leave. It doesn't matter if the big news headline said: "This Is Gonna Be THE Party Of The Decade!" If no one attends, or everyone leaves early, the party's a dud. Just as it doesn't matter if the earnings news, or the economic news, or the news from overseas is awesome or awful. All that matters is what price does in reaction to it. Price tells us who wants it more, and those who want it more will win despite obstacles. In trading, you want to join the winning side, and the minute it looks like the winning side is getting weak, you want to be ready to ditch your team, maybe even switch sides. That's why we're called traitors. Here's the "big secret" of long term trading success: Let price itself, not your opinion or anyone else's opinion, take you into winning trades. All the best to you!
great post by no doji,a compliment to the et community.... il ,some of those traits you have won't go away ,you might need em just to offset or protect yourself from a few other personal traits for survival
Some traits that you can change .. a big one ..attititude...this is going to sound religious because i'm using part of the "Our Father",but it's really common sense...forgive me my tresspasses as i forgive those who tresspass against me"...we can't get rid of all of our bias's but the ones towards ourselves and others we can ,with a little practice, ...start by forgiving all those around you on a daily basis, realize that they will continue to make mistakes and let it go, this will make it easier for you to forgive and except your mistakes and concentrate on progress,help get you out of neutral....accept yourself as ok with all your faults and attributes...we all have a lot of both...you'll do fine...good week by the way
I figured you either blew up - or got it Sounds like you did a little of the first and a lot of the second You may make a trader after all â my friend⦠btw; Personally numbers donât impress me â any idiot can win a lottery It is the process behind the numbers that burns eternal in my heart⦠Trade Well Always Illiquid â and let come what may RN
This is pretty much trading in a nutshell. It's the reason why I almost never express my opinion out loud to other people during a trading day, you need to be able to switch sides instantaneously if you deem it necessary, and opening one's big mouth will slow you down just enough to do harm.