Through the Looking Glass

Great Posts , you guys are far more articulate than I. I've gone through most of what has been described by Illiquid , with two heart attacks to add to it-.
Passion , definitely after 10 years I have the same zeal for going over chart after chart after chart. Self taught- can't discuss trading among "normal "folk without extracting head shakes and pessimism galore.
Unfortunately I chose Futures to slug it out- Paranoia, oh yah .
Constantly evolving , change every couple of years- error after error- swearing never to repeat it.
Damage after many wins seems to be the cycle at present, overconfidence, complacency(oh , yes ..now I know why I was losing, probably won't happen anymore).
Staying away from marked to market from now on , zg, qm, es, ym .nq,qg, agriculturals too.
Not to say there isn't any progress..tons of it- most would say that the journey isn't worth it but I see a day when all will be justified and trading will add to my well being and a part of my hapiness..it just isn't right now- but there is a ceratin emotional gratification.
All these mistakes need to be made..the ability to recognize market conditions quickly and change current habits fast..much easier said than done.
And yes there were times when I swore that a group of Saudi Princes were out to get me ..or maybe some rogues organized at Langley. VA

 

in that case, your thread is just another boring one.

ET readers need to see daily train wrecks.

mmmm, i am wondering what prompted you to start thinking of posting your trading results......

 

I've always wanted to keep a running record of my experiences and thoughts on becoming a trader; I posted a rather spare blog for a couple of years but it was just too easy to let go whenever I felt lazy or uninspired. Since deciding upon my own personal goal of greater accountability to myself and to my family as to what it means to be a trader, I figured that an open journal with input from fellow traders would help me keep that focus over the long run. Hopefully in turn I can also share some lessons learned over the years for others who are following the same path.

 

Do you know why you sabotage yourself? And if you do, what are you doing to stop it?

Only reason I'm asking is that I'm prone to self sabotaging myself and only lately started to address it.

 

looking forward to the journal, GL!

 

the best way to be ego wise is neutral, give and take , win and lose,compromise, that's reality and except it, if your personal view with the world is not that landscape,, start turning the ship toward that island, this will change your trading http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTiyLuZOs1A

 

I'd first say that I'm not a big believer in blaming psychological issues when it comes to trading; I think 8 times out of 10 one needs to deal with a flawed methodology or market view first before looking under the mental hood. At least if one is flailing, make sure it's above break even for a good length of time before resorting to head shrinking.

With me it's a combination of arrogance, impatience, and laziness that I find myself most vulnerable to after a period of perceived success, and most dangerous is the fact that my risk tolerance seems to rise as my account equitey falls. When things start to cave in on themselves and I feel that my general mood is impairing my actual trading decisions in a vicious circle, I just start cutting back in all dimensions: position size, holding times, just general overall ambitions. The greatest advantage of trading intraday is the ability to reset and come in fresh the next morning; getting flat and walking away for a spell is never a bad decision. That said, the hardest thing for me is still learning how to let go -- of a position, of a bad day, of a losing streak -- and actually doing it. Just accepting what happened in the past as past, sloughing off the pain, and moving onwards -- all this sounds well and good on paper but the instinct must be there, in sync with the nervous system right down to the fingertips that will hit the right buttons that need to get hit. This is the connection I need to speed up in myself.

 

my parent's raised 12 kids, you can imagine how many times my mother must have felt overwhelmed and frantic over the years, when the woman who lived next door mentioned that the neighbor to the east, family of 7, was always very vocal and that she never heard my mother raise her voice, her response was that it would 'nt do any good to get upset, she was resolved to the belief that it all comes out in the wash. Trading works that way, u have good and bad days and no matter what, that will continue, except it as reality and try and make the bad days smaller and the good better...this means you can't beat yourself up over losses, read the market,put on your trade ,if you read it wrong, get out,accept it, because unless you have tommorrows paper, it will continue to happen

 

great quant out of the idea man, good work rednecktrader

 

On the topic of paranoia:

Anyone who has traded long enough will undoubtedly develop a nagging suspicion that the markets aren't exactly "friendly". Highs/lows tend to be bought/sold, protective stops serve as magnetic trampolines, the list goes on and on. For the more optimistic (typically greener) bunch, this feeling usually gets swept under the rug of unbridled anticipation for what opportunities a free market offers one and all; besides, at any given moment, one can go long or short as he pleases, it's 50/50 at worst, no? Even the less sanguine will nonetheless learn to dismiss such misgivings and instead focus on taking full responsibility for the results of their own actions – a sign of growth and maturity . . . isn't that what trading is all about?

Yet I would argue that it's a mistake to supress one's paranoia for the sake of some egalitarian ideal of the free market. On the contrary, I think to do so would be to deprive oneself of a powerful tool for learning how the market actually functions. Remind yourself constantly of the fact that "free" doesn't necessarily equate to "fair". I've learned not to shy away from my paranoia; in fact I really don't care if what I believe is necessarily true or not. But if I allow myself free rein in considering what is possible, I at least open myself to accepting all outcomes no matter how nonsensical or illogical, and work from there.

So what sorts of "truths" does a trader-paranoiac hold? Consider the following:

1. The market is always out to get you.
2. The market will go up because you sold it; the market will go down because you bought.
2. The tape can be liberally "painted" and cannot be trusted.
3. Stops are always visible and are magnets for price action.
4. If your risk manager can see your losing positions and where you need to be liquidated, why can't someone else?
5. Do you think fx brokers invented trading against their own customers? The spirit of the bucketshop never died.
6. Short locate requests go directly to the enemy; traders are offered free locates the same way brokers once offered "free" trading.

And so on and so forth. Does some or all of this sound crazy? Can one really even attempt to make money from such a hostile environment? Doesn't a belief in all the conspiracies paralyze one from placing a trade at all?

Well . . . that's the whole point. Trade paranoid people. Trade more selectively. Much more selectively. Throw that 50/50 crap out the window, that's la-la-land bullshit. The market isn't gonna lie there and let you try out which hole feels best without making you pay up. Remember, whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Level the playing field a little and learn to be paranoid.