You are panic prone. You won't change and you are not going far enough. When you start going nuts, tear up your dump and smash everything in sight. Then go outside - tear out as many plants and bushes as you can find. And thats the nearest you'll get to a cure. Serious answer: you don't know enough to be trading and anyhow you have a faulty methodology. Stop trading, forget trading altogether and take your life in a different direction that doesn't expose your inherent weakness.