I figured what the hey.. the best way to learn about who you are is to put it down on paper.. so heres my paper... maybe i'm fit to my strategy.. maybe i don't have a strategy.. maybe everything is so ambiguous its hard to say what i'm doing or what i'm not.. but this is me.. I'm 34 year old guy trading options.. learning alot everyday.. with hopes to get out of the landscape irrigation trade i've been in for the last 15 years.. i've never worked for anyone.. i'm very loss adverse.. its been three years since my bankrupcy.. i'm one of those dum jerks that took out to many loans on houses vans for businesses etc.. i was a sinking boat in a drying up ocean.. i believe in taking responsiblity for myself.. but i've learned sometimes you have to try to figure out how to hedge for things you could never see coming.. my goal for this thread is to get to know myself better.. and for you guys to pipe in and tell me i'm a D8ck or anythign else you want.. i'll talk about trades.. or ideas.. things i'm going to.. new strategies i'm studying and just general very exposing things about the way i am and the way i think.. whats occupying my mind lately.. i'm in a VIXY trade.. and i'm thinking its going to be my luck that the vix will trade low for the next 8 months long enough for the roll cost to completely ruin any potiential of making money even if a black swan of black swans erupts.. ( thats total bad self talk) So i didn't research the roll cost enough.. meaning i had a client through my work suggest that the volatility of volatility is so high it makes up for the little bit of roll cost associated with this kind of trade.. he is a very rich retired real estate developer.. he seems to sell puts against stocks he wants to own.. then sell calls against them.. total buy writer of sorts.. so he is in a vixy trade similar to my position.. by my position is half my account.. I Sold 3 puts against the vixy.. got put the shares at 34 .. collected a little over 2 bucks.. my cost is now 32.. trades currently at like 25.. vix is at 15 now.. i feel like i'm such a weak card player.. even though my parameters change i feel that its not time to fold this trade.. even if roll cost has killed my position a good bit.. i'd be selling at an all time low.. and selling calls against it locks in nothing but a super capped gain... by the way.. this trade has spawned a crazy amount of research.. maybe that will be the only thing good that comes out of it.. i've read so much about how to make money on exactly why my position is losing value... "roll cost" i'm basically long the back month short the front on a constant basis with this position.. Sometimes i have alot of confidence in myself because i'm just so stubborn and i'll just never give up.. and that doesn't mean i'll hold this trade forever .. haha that means i'll reserach it.. and do whatever statistics and spread sheeting in excel to figure out how to exploit the vix.. i'll graph the Vol of vol.. the history of futures term structure and every trade that could potiential exploit it.. one reason i feel that i might end up being good at this is.. I got sober just before i was 18 .. still sober today.. quit smoking cigs at 24.. that was not easy at all considering the drugs i was on.. i've watched my brother die.. didn't run from it.. walked my parents through it.. watched all my friends from druggy youth days either die of drug over doses or end up in jail.. or miserable still chasing a high.. that totally reminds me.. "don't make trading the center of your life" so financially speaking i've failed a few times.. emotionally speaking i've persevered through some really crazy stuff with a decent head on my shoulders.. And with a 90 percent probability if you meet me.. i'll be cracking jokes and happy as hell.. So win a trade lose a trade.. life from the point i stopped using drugs and people and everything else outside of myself to feel good is pure profit..