May seem like a silly post, but when the computer is doing all the work and I am not busy doing something else, my mind races and sometimes I get locked in negative, looped thinking where I think about past traumas or disastrous situations. Is this just me? Over-active guilt centers? Like I'll obsess over very embarrassing situations that happened even 20 years ago that others may have even long since forgotten. I noticed that if I drink 1 cup of coffee, I'm ok. If I drink 2 or more, I am more prone to thinking-loops. I wouldn't say it affects me to the point of total dysfunction, but I do think it is a productivity dampener. Just curious whether I should seek treatment, or if this just normal. I guess it's like that recurring dream where, even though I've gone through graduate school, at night I have the dream that I'm failing high school or forgot to satisfy one credit. It torments me through sleep, but somehow I get through the day anyway. But, at the same time, wish I never had the dream recurring. And even in the dream, I realize I've gone to college but have somehow failed high school. I can't explain it, other than to say these "nags" may be psychological glitches. I'm not sure what to make of it, but am not sure what the criteria should be for whether or not to go see some kind of doctor.
This is ironic, because just yesterday I was thinking about stupid or embarrasing things I have done over the years. So I tried to tell myself it is silly to even think about it. Then I realized the reason it bugs me is because I still have those same bugs, I still do lots of retarded things, and most likely I would not handle those situations any better if they happened today. You see why I like trading, because the crazier you are, the better.
Like most people, your dreaming subconscious is much smarter than the waking semicomatose you. But lucky for you, the doctor is in. The answer is right there before you in your own post. It is the dream. I have that same dream still. That I can't graduate because I lack a credit. Becasue I could never find the classroom it was in. Or skipped all the classes and couldn't find where the final exam was given. Or that somehow I got into a doctoral program on a phony baccalaureate. Or that maybe my first wife wasn't really pregnant. The meaning here is that you have not done all the work you should have on strategy development. Something is missing. You can't even guess what it is. So instead of sitting on your lazy ass daydreaming, keep doing strategy developent and code optimization. At least you aren't masturbating. Are you? Now the doctor is out.
The title of this thread leapt out at me and I'm now filled with raw fear. Our ATS in its latest beta iteration had 5 profitable days last week in sim. This means live launch this week. What if it turns out to be twice the trader I am and I'm doomed to sit around all day having thought loops while it trades? What if they're negative thought loops? Or crazy thought loops (Froot Loops). What if my boredom lulls me to sleep and I dream that dream again where I'm back in high school and it's already a month into the semester and I realize I have no class schedule and no idea where to go because I HAVEN"T EVEN ATTENDED CLASS YET, how could I let that happen (???) and I go to the office and no one can provide me with a schedule and it's getting later, the bell's already rung 20 minutes ago, and--- You know, my biggest trading problem is thinking too much.
People's internet handles (not to mention their love handles) speak volumes about their characters. I have no clue what a "doji" is and refuse to look it up lest it be salacious, but you plainly need to make it crystal clear to all that you are "no" doji. Since you, I and the OP share the same dreams, I will expand on the dream set. When I am not failing to graduate because I can't find that one needed class, and all that is available is "Micro-Erotic Metric Analysis of the Poems of Baudelaire in the Original French," I am having the dream that I did indeed gradulate after all, but ten years past, and I never cleared out my apartment or paid the final month's rent. I sneak in past the landlady and try to pack my stuff up in the bag I brought, but there is so much shit in there that a Dempster-Dumpster wouldn't hold it. I keep shoveling junk, but there is no end to it. IF you have this dream also, be careful about telling me, because after forty years of having it, I now know what it means.
Are you making money? Yes - screw the doctor. No - visit the doctor. Either way, if you're having negative thoughts during the day, I would prescribe to up whatever dose of afternoon delight you're having. (Screw the doctor is just figuratively, btw )
I have not posted here in a long time. Nor have I accepted any traders as patients in an equally long time. Both for the same reasons. One quickly tires of the banality and utter lack of originality of their petty provincial complaints. When I receive a piteous cry for help from a trader I now message back: Larry Pesavento said it all about trading psychology: "You're not looking at a monitor, you're looking in a mirror." In the interest of full disclosure I must admit that I either shave in the dark or with my eyes closed. Having said that, Larry to the best of my knowledge never commented on psychology and autotrading. I equate autotrading with autoeroticism. Both are excuses. Autoeroticism is the failure to fully engage with the opposite sex. Autotrading is the failure to fully engage with the market. The opposite sex is scary (so is the opposite of sex). The market is scary. If you autotrade, you are failing to look in that mirror. When you truly know yourself, you truly know every other trader. Because you are all alike.