The Tripple Nipple Sugar Mountain

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by rowenwood, Apr 22, 2004.

  1. The very start of living a happy life with your Triple-Nipple is knowing the facts. Understanding where you stand next to your fellow man will help you make the informed decisions you need to get the most from the hand that life deals you. The following facts were gathered through a series of surveys conducted on large samples of the population. Take heed!

    * Overal Populus:
    o 1-2% of North Americans have a Triple-Nipple
    o 72% of Triple-Nipples are on the breast area near a normal nipple
    o 0.3% lie on the forehead like a giant pimple

    * Personal Confidence:
    o 62% of Triple-Nipplers have low self-confidence
    o ...but, 81% are ugly and lack social skills, so it's no surprise

    * Medical Action:
    o 33% of Triple-Nipplers have their third nipple surgically removed during childhood. Afterwards, they frantically run around school asking people to sign their "nipple cast"
    o 4% try to remove their Triple-Nipple on their own
    o Of these, 75% fail because they use a butter knife or a dull rock
    o 40% are pleged as nipple donors

    * Triple-Nipples in Society:
    o 11% of people surveyed said they would "be uncomfortable" around someone with a Triple-Nipple
    o 3% know someone with a third nipple
    o Of those, 98% have made fun of that person to impress a girl... it didn't work
    o 9% of employers admitted to discriminating practices against Triple-Nipplers

    * Tripple-Nipples and Women:
    o 68% of girls surveyed said they would date a Triple-Nippler
    o 17% said they would find a Triple-Nippler especially appealing
    o 1% said they actively seek Triple-Nipplers
    o 53% said they would break up a with a boyfriend if they found out he lied about his Triple-Nipple
    o By contrast, only 42% would break up on the condition that he routinely beat her