The Solitary Trader-Life Hampers Personal Growth?

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by achilles28, Mar 17, 2008.

  1. ?........131 South Dearborn?........congratulations on the job at You Know Who Company.
     
    #11     Mar 19, 2008
  2. You are right, there is more to life than trading and money. Human beings are social animals. If you like trading and make good money, there is no point in making less money at a job you hate just to have more social contact.
    Trading takes up what, 35-40 hours a week? There are 168 hours in a week. Set aside 50 hours a week for sleep and you have 118 waking hours and setting aside 40 hours a week for work, you have 78 hours left per week for social activities.

    There is no need to get a job. Join a volunteer group for whatever activities you are interested in, help the less fortunate, meet up with other traders in your area if you can for a beer. Get out of your house and do something if you feel the itch to socialize. But don't get a job you a hate just to socialize. There are many other better ways.
     
    #12     Mar 19, 2008
  3. Kap

    Kap

    good point, I traded for a while at home back in 03-04... was bored sh*tless after a while but earned a good chunk... went back to work on a trading floor for more social reasons than anything else... after a 1 year that was enough, walked out and am at home trading again. Those feelings are coming back again and am considering hiring a desk at a prop firm for more social contact.. need some banter and comaraderie.. and a beer after work would be nice. Its a difficult one for sure, if u can find voluntary work that suits that would be great, but you have to turn off the testosterone greed / shaft everyone thing completely. :eek:
     
    #13     Mar 19, 2008
  4. Enjoy?

    Most people quit the corporate rat race and become traders because they want to avoid the endless presentations, meetings and politics..

    Socialising with work mates is enjoyable but i didnt think most trader types enjoyed the other stuff.
     
    #14     Mar 19, 2008
  5. the grass is always greener i suppose. however,i know what you mean. i try and leave my home office 2 hours per day and go for a loing lunch where there are lots of people.
     
    #15     Mar 19, 2008
  6. Div_Arb

    Div_Arb

    Dude, you are not missing a thing. I am in the financial sales business (not a broker), and I trade from my desk during the day. Trust me, you don't want to have to deal with office politics, sitting through excrutiatingly boring meetings, dinking with powerpoint and excel, having to kiss up to some asshole boss, always having to justify why you should be getting paid more, bickering about office space, dealing with the dry cleaners, dealing with the airport, commuting into work, the list goes on.

    Be careful what you ask for!
     
    #16     Mar 19, 2008
  7. Achilles28,

    I certainly feel where you are coming from. I am 28 and also trade from home. I feel that the lack of social contact is the greatest “cost” of trading for me…at the moment.

    I was in the military for 5 years on a nuclear ballistic missile submarine. The job had many drawbacks to it, but it sure was great to hang out with the guys during and after work.

    I am in a couple of chatrooms right now that break up some of the monotony during the day, but as others have said, this will not replace face to face social interaction.

    I do fear that a lack of social interaction will deteriorate the skills over time, but I really haven’t found that to be the case thus far. When I am out, and talking to people, I find it much easier to be on their “level”. Opposed to the military where you were either a superior or a subordinate. I can’t speak for the corporate job, but I would imagine there are certain similarities. I guess what I am saying is when I am interacting there are no hidden motives or politics, and it is much easier now to be “in the moment” and I cherish that interaction much more now than ever. I have found that people notice that I am much more attentive and interested in everything they have to say, and most are interested in what I am doing and what I have say.

    Right now, I do my best to keep in touch through the phone as much as possible. I never talk to people about “the weather”. I find out what THEY really want to talk about, and discuss those issues. I believe this is the key to really communicating with people. This call all be found in the book “How to win Friends and Influence People”. I have no desire to influence anyone now, as I don’t find a need as a trader, but there are good points in the book regardless.

    When I am more established and consistent, I plan on deciding on a place to live/settle for the long term(I have bounced all over the country in the military). When I get there I will be out looking at all of the clubs in the area and joining a few and taking a large role in them. One of the main things I will be looking at as far as a place to settle will be younger population to increase the odds of spending time with people my own age.

    I think that Toastmasters would be a great idea, if you are interested in that. If you are active in any club, and take leadership roles, I think you will find that you will have to give speeches there also. Find a place that you can add value and get something in return…give it your all and you are bound to draw out people of your own caliber that may become lifelong friends.

    In the end, I think what really matters is the QUALITY time that you spend socializing with people that you like. Find a place that will have people like you with your own interests and spend quality time with them. I think a few great friends is much better than a dozen acquaintances.

    Good luck to you in this endeavor.

    Best,

    JR
     
    #17     Mar 19, 2008
  8. One of my best friends I grew up with was on the USS Hartford. Know anyone from there?

    They were in drydock in Portsmouth after they ran aground in 03 and we were over at his barracks room drinking and we ended up setting off the fire alarm. Didn't really mean to, but I twisted open the fire main (the chain was long enough to do it) and that apparently sets off the alarm. Everyone had to evacuate, so we grabbed our beer and Jim Beam and went out to his truck and continued to get trashed.

    Great post, BTW.
     
    #18     Mar 20, 2008
  9. Elks Lodge
     
    #19     Mar 20, 2008
  10. I dont care about being "well rounded", I just want to make tons of money. Kiss my ass world. :D
     
    #20     Mar 20, 2008