The people in the elevator could only wish they could masturbate as often as traders. What else in life offers sitting at home alone all day with a high speed internet and a multi-monitor setup?
I went to my psychiatrist and told him my obsession for masterbating is ruining my life. "Mr Nutmeg," he said, "I'll do all I can to help solve your problem, and we'll beat this addiction together." I'm all for male bonding, but that's just perverted.
".... The findings were surprising. Sexual intercourse did not affect prostate cancer risk. But frequent masturbation did -- in different ways, at different times of life. "Frequent masturbation during men's 20s and 30s increased their risk of prostate cancer," Dimitropoulou tells WebMD. "But men in their 50s who masturbated frequently had decreased risk." Of course, masturbation frequency is relative. For men in their 20s, "frequent masturbation" was two to seven times per week. Compared to same-age men who reported masturbating less than once per month, 20-something frequent masturbators had a 79% higher risk of prostate cancer by age 60. For men in their 50s, "frequent masturbation" was one or more times per week. Compared to same-age men who reported never masturbating, 50-something frequent masturbators had a 70% lower risk of prostate cancer. What's going on? The study wasn't designed to answer that question...." http://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/news/20090127/masturbation-and-prostate-cancer-risk
I went to the Doctor with lower back pain. The Doctor says to me - "Can I ask you a sensitive question? Do you masterbate? I said, " sometimes, Why?" The Dr said " its fucking great isn't it"
Or the guy who has the beautiful female Doctor. She comes into the exam room, and tells the patient, "you have to stop masturbating." He asks, "why"?. she replies, "Because I'm examining you."