The Republican debates through a 9-year old's eyes

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by TheDudeofLife, Jan 6, 2008.

  1. The Republican debates through a 9-year old's eyes (w/Poll)
    by 8ackgr0und N015e
    Sun Jan 06, 2008 at 01:59:36 AM PST

    I've avoided the debates until now because I saw them as little more than exercises in media manipulation. This time, I wanted to watch the Republican debate just to hear the other candidates respond to Ron Paul. Unfortunately, I had a scheduling conflict so I asked a kid to take notes for me. As the debate began, I drew a quick seating chart of the candidates to help the kid keep track of who said what and then ran off. BTW - this is not snark. This is a straight rendition from a 9 year old. The only changes I made were for spelling errors (except the names).

    It must have been more difficult thant I thought to keep track of all the new names. That's the only reason I can think of to explain why this reporter devised their own naming strategy to keep track of the candidates. Aside from that, it seems they got all the high points.

    Follow me below the fold for the 9-years old rendition of a fight between Sarge, Wrinkles, Bunny Ears, Oily, Beagle Eyes and Carrot Face...

    * 8ackgr0und N015e's diary :: ::
    *

    They are rude
    Interrupt alot!

    Beagle Eyes
    Arrogant foreign policy
    We need 400,000 troops
    Don't let politicians get involved
    Leave it to military with blood on their boots.

    Carrot Face
    President policy good
    War good
    Patriot Act good
    Electric snooping good
    Capturing Saddam mistake
    Surge mistake
    Clinton peace dividend bad
    We need more troops
    We need more ships

    Wrinkles
    Constitution has 10 Amendments
    Immigration is bad
    Secure border from immigration

    Sarge
    Bush right
    America is safe
    America is not safe
    America is safe
    Rumsfeld failure
    Petraeus is good
    Strategy was bad
    Now it is good

    Sarge is confusing

    Bunny Ears
    We are bullies
    Policemen
    If not listening we bomb them.
    If listening we give them money.

    Oily, Wrinkles and Carrot Face are making fun of Bunny Ears.

    Carrot Face
    Olympics got attacked

    Fight. Fight. Interrupt. Fight.

    New topic

    Healthcare best in the world.
    War funds for health care
    10% inflation
    Inflation needs to be under control

    Oily
    They don't need Hillery care?

    Bunny Ears
    People go to India for heart surgery
    airplane + hotel + surgery = 50% of cost in America.
    People don't have health insurance.

    Wrinkles is making fun of Bunny Ears again.

    Wrinkles and Oily fighting about man dates.
    Oily says man dates are ok sometimes.
    Wrinkles doesn't like dating men.
    Fight.Fight.

    Back to health

    Beagle Eyes
    Get everyone insured!
    We have disease care.
    Affordability is good.
    $1,000 for Kleenex in a hospital (no way!)

    Incentives to keep cost down.
    The power of the pharmaceutical companies.

    New Topic

    Unattributed
    Republican elephant hate democrats
    Temporary work program.
    Secure borders

    Beagle Eyes
    We are all God's children

    Carrot face
    12,000,000 illegal immigrants
    Juliani was a mayor.

    Sarge
    John Micane never supported amnesty
    Charge $5,000 to stay
    attack ads

    Wrinkles
    Immigrants should not be rewarded

    Fight.Fight. Interrupt. Fight

    Oily
    Do not sent 12,000,000
    Ronald Reagan on some commercial.

    Wrinkles
    New York is a Sanctuary City
    Send people to the end of the line to live there.

    Beagle Eyes
    They can deport themselves.

    Bunny Ears
    Get rid of income tax
    oil costs $100 per barrel.
    Inflation bad.
    dollar down
    gold up
    oil up

    Oily, Sarge, Wrinkles and Carrot Face making fun of Bunny Ears.
    Beagle Eyes is listening to Bunny Ears.

    Sarge
    We need wind, solar, nuclear
    Reduce green house gases
    Reduce gas emissions
    Reduce our demand

    Oily
    More about amnesty
    Legal immigration good

    New Topic

    Sarge
    Obama doesn't have the background to lead.

    No candidate likes Obama.
    Republicans don't think he'll be a good president.
    Obama gonna win.

    ----------------
    Here is a list in case you haven't already figured out which nickname refers to which candidate:

    McCain = Sarge
    Thompson = Wrinkles
    Paul = Bunny Ears
    Romney = Oily
    Huckabee = Beagle Eyes
    Giuliani = Carrot Face
     
  2. Lol. I saw this on dailykos. The nicknames are very accurate. I doubt they were from an actual 9 year old - otherwise she must be a genius.

    Oily not only had too much oil on his face, he was also too slick. I could not have come up with that name but I immediately knew who that was.

    The only one I had a hard time figuring out was bunny ears. I was thinking "but Obama is a democrat."