Dear friends, it is my pleasure to introduce to you today the released version of the trading system posted here earlier in beta testing as MonkeyTrader. We have granted exclusive rights for its use and marketing to the proprietary trading firm Schwerpunkt und Mannbrechen, LLP, affectionately known in the trade as S&M. They will offer it solely to EliteTrader registered members in good standing (lurkers need not apply) under the trade name ETrader. With reference to the attached screen shot, I invite the founder and a principal of S&M Trading, Herr Mannbrecher, to demonstrate the system with the assistance of his lovely intern, Fraulein Grossenbrusten. I don't mind saying that I am very fond of Manny, as his friends call him, because his forceful personality brings back fond memories of my days in the Hitler Jugenden when I happily observed my father rehabilitating misguided members of the resistance. Manny, like my father, specializes in the application of rapid Pavlovian conditioning, in this case to trading training. Manny, over to you! Zank you, Herr Doktor Mudgins. May I call you Duref? Of course I can! Fraulein Grossenbrusten, haff you inserted ze remote control conditioning device into your little muschi? Ja? Fabelhaft! Now here is vat ve do. You vill look at ze chart and for each bar you vill giff me an interpretazionen of sieben key conditions in ze followink order: 1) iss zere sufficient oder insuffisant volume to trade? 2) Iss ze trend up, down or sidevays? 3) Iss ze mechanical zystem calling for a long, a kurz, or to stay flat? (Ja, ja, ich weiss, Fraulein Grossenbrusten, you vill never be flat!) 4) Iss ze current bar strongly or weakly rot, grun, oder blau? 5) Hass ze bar just completed, started, or about to start ein test of one or more of unser proprietary indicators? 6) Iss zere a two-bar reversal signal showink? 7) Und most important, what trade action would you take at ze ent of ziss bar? (As an aside to zose in ze know on ET, ziss iss no mehr to ask zan ze trading wizard Jack Hershey asks of hiss disciples: sieben bits of data scannt over und over.) Before wir beginnen, would you like a demonstration of ze training device? Ja? Here goess! (She screams piercingly!) Fun, ja? Now, now, meine liebchen, it iss all for a gut cause! No pain, no gain. You VILL learn to follow ze system schnell!Wir haben kein geld to waste on fools!
Pain conditioning for rapid and accurate learning of and adherence to the prop firm's proprietary trading system. It worked with monkeys in beta test, so it will perforce work with ET.
Interesting. what sort of monkeys? Howler, capuchin, marmoset, colobus? I dont think gibbons should be excluded, nor baboons, given ready recognition of big red signals as per the sexual displays of the species.
As related in another thread, orangs proved to be too lazy and slow-witted, and to have a remarkable pain tolerance. Chimps were too aggressive and ate the iPhones running the software. Capuchins proved to be remarkably tractable and had just the right high-strung personas necessary to stick with and enjoy a scalping system like this. We did not try baboons (too critical of the method, signed that they preferred SCT), and bonobos could not on any account be persuaded to quit fucking. All simians failed to demonstrate a satisfactory degree of greed to learn to trade without the application of pain. We have high hopes for ETer's, however, because they seem not only to be extraordinarily greedy, but perpetually to be in pain already, and to apply it themselves without external impetus, which happy fact should considerably reduce our electric bill.
Fascinating, and insightful comments. Perhaps, the testing is being performed in the wrong biometric area. I'm thinking cephalopods, may in fact be clever enough, to be trained to get the reward without pain impetus, particularly given you could lop off an a arm and they continue happily-and they sure do like crustaceans. In fact, a many armed octopus, with vast situational learning ability and memory could potentially just learn sct, without the need for the monkey lights, the dexterity would allow them to draw trend lines and place orders like a mofo. The reward of a juicy crab on offer, perhaps they are the traders of the future..........god knows there's enough squids out there already, lets cut to the chase.
Indeed, then prop firms could eat failed traders with great relish, rather than simply firing them ignominiously.
Exactly, perhaps a mustard bbq, or good old sweet and sour. Besides, monkeys dont know the meaning of ignominious, they crap in their hand and hurl it, and many people dont like the concept of bushmeat...I dont know what they think is in their burgers, but still. The biggest concern of course, is they stumble across an octopus smarter than them, tentacles in every aspect of the business, perhaps subverting the core mission in their drive for king crab, its doubtfull it would be picked up untill it was too late. Fortunately, it wouldnt last too long, because they have to return to the sea to breed-but as usual , its food for thought.
Indeed, food for thought, just as trading is thought for food. I shall keep you apprised of our progress training our first human to monkey standards, with examples from tomorrow's market. Just betweeen us, frankly I am disappointed that no one has seen fit to comment on the Hershean sweeping method we have adopted. It really is quite effective as a decision making tool when performed at the fastest rate one can when speaking aloud. It prevents one from focussing exclusively on just one feature of the instantaneous market, creating and maintaining a broad gestalt of market state.
Well, it was a long night for Fraulein Grossenbrusten. She had some difficulty telling a strong bar from a weak bar. At first we tried adding a BarQuality (TM) study to the chart, but that complicated it excessively. So we decided to color the bar itself according to its strength or weakness. In the attachment you can see two differently colored green bars, clearly denoting their relative strengths. The motivational device is now running in intense pleasure mode and profits are up thanks to the proposed YHOO buyout.