The hoary academic discipline of trading psychology is long overdue for an overhaul. Once a proud and sober science, with its roots in the centuries-old study of manias panics and crashes (see Kindleberger, 1957), it is now being hawked and pimped in sound bytes by heal-thyself-and-get-rich-quick barkers at trade shows. No more. I intend to put an end to this shameless pandering. To do so I shall use the trading industry's most respected and participant-vetted medium of communication, ET. Let us begin with the concepts of fear and greed. We live in the 21st century, my fellow traders! These are outdated notions which we should cast aside with our new sophistication! In studies with our trained trading monkeys (see Doaks et al here), we have discovered that the chart itself reinforces the continuation of fear and greed. The universal chart coloring of green for up bars (greed, gold, US currency) and of red for down bars (blood, red ink, foreign funny monies) perpetuates emotional responses to price action. We have therefore devised a new coloring scheme for bars: burnt Umber (for Up) and olive Drab (for Down). We have found by extensive polygraph testing (reliable because monkeys do not lie) that this color scheme neutralizes the fear of shorting, makes counter tend bars look more inviting as trend entry retraces, and makes extended up trends look less intimidating. We hope that you will join our monkeys in adopting this new paradigm, as represented by the attachment. We call this schema "Soothing".