The loneliness of success

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Smart Money, Apr 20, 2011.

  1. orl

    orl

    Great post. It's funny how people seem to take for granted all the hard work that lies behind a successful trader. If I were to ask a musician to teach me to play his/hers instrument in a day, I would be met with disbelief. But somehow I am supposed to teach how I "play" my instruments in a few minutes....
     
    #61     Apr 21, 2011
  2. dc101

    dc101

    That approach would work for e.g. poker - Phil Laak uses it. But poker is played in plain sight - so people get some kind of idea, just as they do with sports in general. On the other hand, trading is done audience-free and there's 'mystique' around it. Most people see trading as undeserved easy money from either tips or 'secret formula'.
     
    #62     Apr 21, 2011
  3. Eddiefl

    Eddiefl


    there is some truth to that.

    EF
     
    #63     Apr 21, 2011
  4. It is lonely being succesful, thats certainly true. But most unsuccesful people are also lonely
     
    #64     Apr 21, 2011
  5. dc101

    dc101

    Perhaps OP should look at it from another angle - there are very few professions where one can become wealthy while remaining almost completely anonymous. It's a blessing really. Famous actors and sport pros would give anything to get some privacy.
     
    #65     Apr 21, 2011
  6. the1

    the1

    Good point. Trading is very lonely. I have simply accepted it as a trade-off for the other benefits of which there are many! Not having a boss is #1.

     
    #66     Apr 21, 2011
  7. rew

    rew

    I live for the day when I have your problem.
     
    #67     Apr 21, 2011
  8. WS_MJH

    WS_MJH

    One of the best statements on ET! +1000
     
    #68     Apr 21, 2011
  9. niccia

    niccia

    I think its fine to brag about your trades as long as you aren't talking numbers or share size. I tell my family about my trading bc they've watched me struggle and grow with it throughout the years, and they are always interested even if they probably don't understand what I'm talking about. I've met a few great trading buddies off ET and we chat all day long as well as help each other out. I wouldn't tell my gfs about my trading bc none of them would care less, and I'm sure I sometimes drive my bf nuts talking about it. At the end of the day, no one but another trader will ever understand the patience and dedication this career demands, so your best bet is prob to find friends on here or go to some trading hookups. Being lonely during the day isn't the worst problem to have in this biz, so I'm glad the rest of it is working out well for you :)
     
    #69     Apr 21, 2011
  10. 2 things. 1. The need that you are looking/interested in/compelled to possibily satisfy/fill, lies irrevocably in the past. Specifically, the need to share your success with your absent father in one way or another. Either he is emotionally absent, (not there to share your joy with you) physically absent, (left mom early in your developement) and that contributes to the lonliness you feel that takes on a life of its own in your psyche. Or, if he was around, you fear he will act act against your success with jealous, (resentment - anger directed at you) or envy based tantrums of the talent that you have and he dosent, that decends him into a lesser life than the greater life his son is capable realizing. The answer: 2. You are in denial about guilt. Guilt that you are everything he is not, (successful on his terms) or ever will be. Convincing yourself day by day that you don't need, want or seek his or other authority fugures' approval, or validation is your way out of this Self defeating prison you have created for your Self to exist in. It's not living, it's existing; uncomfortably comfortable in the walls of your routine. Constantly visualize yourself separate from him, and that will take you to the place inside that is fluid in the present, not locked in the past. Where you will engage the market, people, and challenge yourself in ways you can't see, yet. The edge you have now is nothing more than something your unconscious mind created to get the attention from us here that you never got from him! If you have REAL talent, there are edges out there beyond satisfying dad's lost attention needs that are intergalatic in nature for your true talent to discover.
     
    #70     Apr 21, 2011