You must be joking. I 've spent an enormous amount of time and efforts with all these "mind people" : and it certainly not to do something like that. Meddling here means : I want to add positions, and not just wait for these to reach the targets.
So it was a very hard trading day physically. After 5 hours, I basically was feeling the pain of just seatting there - inspite of the non stop music. Obviously the "mind people" have done a very good job : they have really sensitized me to "capital protection". I never felt so much physical pain at the thought of losing any trading profits. Now, I feel so tired, that I can go, sleep and rest till at least next week.
It looks like last friday has been for some traders like this: ( Thanks to Marsman and El Och...) I have to say, this sums up what I also used to do!!! I am glad this is now in the past. And I am glad I basicall "tried everything" to get to the core issue. Just "work on yourself", and you too will get to the core issue and sort it.
Just when I have a 'fancy' breather ( aka holiday) scheduled long ago, I have to catch an awful cold out of nowhere. Really annoying to drop a holiday I was really looking forward to. May be best that I get some books on my reading list and get reading while I finish to sort this horribilis cold a,d high fever. Very unlikely I take many trades.
I would like to help you out. I read all your post but still unsure what's the core issues are. Are you winning? Semi-winning?
The core issues were unwanted and unsollicited "bother" , and that is being sorted. Last batch of "harassers" dealt with the last 10 days. Now the problem is this has had effects - psychological toll, and huge patterns of self-sabotage has developed, or existing tiny patterns have been magnified. Trading techniques, trading : very fine. Psychology: huge problem. My attitude toward trading profits. In practice that means , as an example, as I am working with a coach : * fix trading objectives, and put in place all the psychological checks and balance all is fine. So for one week, daily meditation and breathing, and one hour daily of trade preparation; the small trading objectives ( 30%) get reached easily. It was decided with the coach that as soon as the objectives were reached to transfer all the profits; so as to then do some psy exercises around the cash won. So far I had done everything I need to do. * made the transfer, the broker did not do the transfer ( cards number confusion). This took few days. * I started to take things easy ( no meditation, breath exercises, etc) as I was not to trade till the next coaching session. * Now, I woke up to check what is going on few days later. As soon as I saw the profits, my "mental state" changed. I became like dead (?) and went like on autopilot : I opened the trading platform ( no prep, whatsover) and went on with confidence to wipe it out. wtfuao : described how this show up in behaviour ( no calm, etc). When that was done, I basically felt and anger and a deep sense of relief. I have two weeks before I see the coach, as I cancelled some appointments because I was due to travel. Now, with this cold, as I begin to identify how my 'mental state' changes I have matters to ponder. The coach identified few themes to work on : * conflicting attitude toward money due to having witnessed and grew up with on one side rich ( I mean really rich) people who were awful and full of all kinds vices and mindsets and behaviours and dysfunctions that I totally abhored, and on the other modest religious people who I'd prefer to spend time with, as they had real loving normal healthy functional family lives and demonstrated values and character that I held up in esteem and respected. The hypothesis being that I do everything not be part of people I abhore. And during our discussions my statements like " I have yet to see any really rich person who is not dysfunctional for instance on the sex or relationship or morality side" obviously was a tip of for the coach. * Abhorance toward money, as the people involved into the harassment were extremely money "interested". This with their mindsets of dysfunctional relationships tied to money did not help my perceptions. This made me associate money to manipulation, to corruption, to abject values even more. * conflicting attitudes toward money not coming via "normal" and socially seen as clean ways ( also related to above). But this one seem to have been sorted as we did some work on "clean" and "dirty" money. I came to the understanding of the skills I had to develop in trading ( all clean), who the money was taken from ( Central banks so no issues with that). To my caoch, it was expected that I'd get involved in wealth winning activities like trading, as whenever the skills are acquired, it is a place where wealth issues can be brought to the surface. I am going to spend my convalescence time reading about these themes. Your questions and insights ( as you understand meditation and all its implied insights) are welcomed.
Meditation and coaching is about as much use as a bull in a china shop. The psychology of trading can not be experienced until you start losing and winning, and no other person can help you with that. It should be clear what is required to deal with losing trades, as they are part and parcel of the business. When you learn to deal with the losers the winners are another episode, but it is always better to take a small winner than a small loser. Over time,with experience, the winners can be worked on to make more per trade when the opportunities arise. Many talk about trading as if it is some big complicated secret endeavor, which it is not. It is the exact opposite, the simplest thing in the world to carry out. It is the people who try it that make it difficult for themselves, mostly due to being easily influenced and led by others. The first real step to progress is awareness.
wtfauoa: what you are saying is absolutely right. Now my problem is this: I was not supposed to trade till I met the coach. We agreed with a coach for a profit target, that was reached. Then to just close my account, transfer the whole lot to the card and wait for the next coaching session. It took a set of days of transfer problems, this leading me to open my trading platform to check where the problem was in regards to the transfer. Then seeing the profits lead me to a non-wanted "mental state" : not appreciating the profits, seeing it as something dangerous, etc. This is an example where psychology gets into play. Your opinions/insights are fully welcomed.
"* Now, I woke up to check what is going on few days later. As soon as I saw the profits, my "mental state" changed. I became like dead (?) and went like on autopilot : I opened the trading platform ( no prep, whatsover) and went on with confidence to wipe it out. wtfuao : described how this show up in behaviour ( no calm, etc). When that was done, I basically felt and anger and a deep sense of relief." I will write more later not at home in the momement. It sounds like you may have a fear of losing your profits? After winning you have anxiety that you may lose it all?