And how is that not playing the victim Learn to forgive yourself for Christ sakes.. and I pose this to you again...... If you can blow off a loss and move on... Then why can't you put trading in its proper place..., and enjoy the rest of your life - when not trading Letting go..., is letting go - No?? RN
Millionaire It was a bitter pill for me to swallow as well⦠It took considerable work to get to where I could forgive myself for some of the things Iâve done in my life â and then let them go I had to set them free so they no longer encumbered me fwiw â some things I had to forgive myself for involved folks long deadâ¦. I wrote them each a letter and filed it⦠I have those letters to this day RN
I see you are a UCI alumnus. It is a good (if underrated) school. I live very close by. Gotta love Cha for Tea, the best bubble tea due to very strict quality control (they taste EVERY DRINK before handing it over to make sure it is right). Of course the unintended consequences of this policy include the staff being cracked out on caffeine the whole time. At any rate, I'm not so sure it is easy to pick a number and then once you get in the vicinity just (on a serious level) walk away. I'm not saying that it isn't possible, just that the people that tend to be successful at it are the same people who simply adjust their ambitions and never get off the merry-go-round. There is a certain point though where you will relax and things become relatively routine and boring until every 7th-10th year crisis shows up and makes it all interesting again. It sounds like you are there, so now is the time to start minting money. Enjoy it, it is rarefied air.
If things are working out for you, then by all means keep chugging. My point was that if someone hasn't been where the OP is, and therefore can't really empathize with his/her situation, then it doesn't make any sense why they would be commenting in a negative way, offering advice, flaming, or what have you. If you are claiming you have been there, and all you have to do is compartmentalize to solve the problem, then we just disagree which isn't a big deal. In terms of letting go of losses, yes absolutely for your average run of the mill trade this should be happening for someone at a high level. The problem is getting to that high level and staying there over long periods of time takes pain (for some of us at least) and the discussion surrounds how this emotional pain in the forging of a successful trader impacts that trader outside of trading.
And if the OP had asked me to elaborate on compartmentalizing I would have oblidged⦠Instead you made the comment I didnât know what the fuck I was talking about â which obviously caught my attention ================================================================================================= This pain you reference â from what source does it originate No need to answer â you and I both know â its pain we create for our selvesâ¦. ================================================================================================ I maintain get your head screwed on straight there is need for painâ¦. There is work, set backs, things to learn, walls, more work, more set backsâ¦.. But there is no need for pain â if we make it so We agree on that? =============================================================================================== Iâm not into memorializing anything â especially that which holds me back⦠I am all about doing whatever is necessary to achieve my goals iow â I try not to suffer my own ignorance â any longer than is absolutely necessary â for me to grow and move on - sans pain... As it simply serves no purpose, imo RN
It doesn't really matter what you do (trading, business, etc.), but as long as you're after the big money you'll eventually develop a (psychological) carapace so thick you might not be able to shed it. The only solution is as you've suggested: Set a goal where you'll stop after reaching it. This is what Bismarck did, he wanted to create a new nation with a progressive social policy and stopped after having achieved that end. Your emotional component is far more valuable than money. Going further b/c of greed will consume you. Live as abundantly as you need to achieve your divine purpose. Thinking you need to be rich or poor are both traps in of themselves that lead to nowhere.
Wonât disagree with any of this I will add Doesnât sound like âthe dark sideâ Doesnât entail being a victim Doesnât entail any pain Does mean one evolves a thick skin so shit no longer bothers them â or does itâ¦. Because enough will never be enough â if first you are not happy with yourself⦠============================================================================================== Completely happy with our self â now thereâs a novel concept â unfortunately so few ever findâ¦â¦. Pity â reallyâ¦. For that is where the real strength to endureâ¦, the ability to take total controlâ¦, the ability to loveâ¦, the ability to enjoyâ¦, and the ability to suffer set backsâ¦, the ability to let it roll off your backâ¦, the ability to accept what your dealt and move on..., the ability to forgive..., the ability to laugh at yourself, â and more â lies Itâs not what happens to us, but rather how we respond â that make us who, and what â we areâ¦.. Hereâs to looking in a mirror, and really liking who you see â sans any ego ( I am not perfect, but I am me - warts and all) But I can also be more cut throat than the next bastard when it comes to trading - make no mistake RN
well Redneck, different people trade under different circumstances i think everyone knows what you need to do in trading but as with many things in life, it is easier said than done some people are in places in life that enable BETTER trading, enable easier control of one's self if i had a hot wife, a house, plenty of money, etc, I wouldn't be posting here with my situation, i can't just sit back relax and enjoy my life oh a losing day, ill shrug it off with a beer at the beach tomorrow? not me, i don't have that luxury i work 2 jobs and i will continue to work 2 jobs until i grind my way to that comfort zone i do not ENJOY working 7 days a week month after month conversely, i do ENJOY the ultimate battle i found a way to screw my mind up and get a head start beating the emotions out of my rational self. it just so happens that it also makes working the daily grind 50x easier. by shutting myself out i shut the world out. i feel nothing when my friends are out doing something and im at work or sleeping or backtesting, when a pretty girl smiles or talks to me i cut it short and integrate her into the end goal, i was listening to the new radiohead album which typically provoke floods of emotion. i absolutely loved the music, the detail, the craftsmanship, but i FELT nothing! i read steenbarger, he gives very good advice, solid stuff, but he is also a wealthy psychologist some of us have to work our ass off for pennies to build our dream sure, once you're a baller you can escape to la - la land and trade well, losing day - head to the beach when i emerge, who knows what kind of person i'll be like -------------------------- --------------------------- that being said, yes I went to UCI, and I used to live right across the street from Cha for Tea hahaha, yeah they were very good. my favorite place down in Orange County was Brussel's Bistro in Laguna Beach, check it out sometime, best bolognese ive ever had, and ive been to italy. belgian beers on tap. they used to have a hot czech bartender, but i doubt she's still there. they also have live jazz on certain weekdays http://www.brusselsbistro.com
For what ever this is worth I grew up on a farm/ ranch with 13 siblings I know what work is..., and being with out..., and getting hand me downs / goodwillâs finest I put myself through school (took eight years) And my wife ainât the hottest around â but I love her and my kids with all my heart I do the best I can - with what I got - every day RN