The Chronicles of Rennick

WED. 9/27 2:15pm Dow +26

[NOTE: Sorry for the lateness of today's post, I developed writers block with the schtick]


A chainsaw wielding Rennick enters the room rushing past a shocked Mrs.Rennick. He talks a confirming look at the mighty “Crystal Ball”, then picks up the “Ball” and hands it gently to a bewildered Mrs. Rennick. The crazed reader of the “Ball” returns to the chainsaw and with one powerful pull he fires it up. He now focuses his attention on the hardwood antique table where the ‘Ball’ had just rested and chainsaws it in half making sure to cut across the grain. He turns the chainsaw off and is now at the mic ready to speak:

The mystical Orb is NEGATIVE calling for WEAK Market action this afternoon. To best illustrate this cutting across the grain of popular consensus opinion( that today will see a new Dow record) that the “BALL has with it’s weak forecast I conducted the chainsaw demonstration, furtherm...” A violent frying pan swinging Mrs.Rennick charges a ducking Rennick who attempts to escape. “How dare you destroy my Grandmothers table in your stupid Market call” Mrs.Rennick screams.

(to be cont)

Needless to say, Rennick has left the building.

 

BREAKING NEWS

Rennick Manor Chief of Security Callahan is at the microphone podium and will now issue a statement;:
" At approx. 1420 hours a caucasion male 6'3', 215# by the name of William Rennick fled the premises in a 2005 Winnebego Chieftain. He was being chased by a caucasan female 38-24-36, 118# who we shall call Mrs. Rennick in a black 2006 Chevy Suburban. It is believed that Mrs Rennick is armed and dangerous. That’s all I have for right now, I will go ahead and schedule a 1500 hours statement right here"

Callahan over

 

she SOUNDS hot.

 

DEVELOPING STORY

Rennick Manor Chief of Security Callahan is at the microphone podium and will now issue a new statement;:

"The subjects in question have been spotted traveling at a high rate of speed down the 105 Expressway. The situation somehow has made it on live TV, where non other than Geraldo is broadcasting live in a news chopper."

A camera shy Mrs.Rennick fires a single shot at the chopper hitting Rivera who falls out of the helicopter. Two bridge dwelling Bums witness the scene. “Hey did you see that woman shooting at that strange looking bird, what kind of bird was that anyway?” says one bum to the other. “I don’t know but did you see it drop that Mexican when she shot at it”, the other says.

(To be cont. developing hard)

 

Chief of Security Callahan will now make a final statement

"The situation is now over, ending in a dry water aquaduct . Rennick’s live RV cam recorded the ending and broadcasted to our live feed here at Rennick Manor. Here’s how it ended:,"

Rennick’s gas guzzling RV finally ran out of gas where he tried to ditch it in an empty storm runoff aquaduct. In a scence reminisent of the Blues Brothers when finally corned Rennick turns to the double barelled shotgun toting wife who’s ready to blast him. He lowers the black sunglasses exposing those big hushpuppy dog eyes she so adores, spread his arms open and says”I’M sorry baby”. With that; the overcome with emotion Mrs. Rennick drops the scattergun and rushes into her Williams arms.

Rennick gives an I had it under control wink to the RV cam and asks the wife if she has some money to fill up the RV. Thin ice Rennick, you’re walking on thin ice. "I wonder how the Market is doing he wonders?" And so it ends...

 

retired navyman my ass, i finally figured out who rennick is. hes the cat who wrote sanford and son, saturday night live, and bugs bunny/road runner hour.

shack

p.s. to that hgtrader analizer dude, in case your wondering your fuzzy math dont add up like my homie jj said. today the dow wuz +40 when the ball shot out its call, not the +23 in gramp's late version. so what im rappin is the friggen balls call today was very nice,not once but twice.

p.p..s.s hey gramps how'd youlike that rhyme, i got potential right??

 

not quite but very close, there was a hint of self doubt in every Tampa post, I hope he get over it.

 

THURS. 9/28 1:19 pm EDT Dow -3
A festive looking Rennick enters the room wearing a party hat, New Orleans beads and swinging a New Years noise maker. He passes by the vivacious Mrs.Rennick (wearing a party dress) who today has traded her frying pan and sawed-off shotgun for a bottle of Champagne. The Amazing One takes a confident look at the mighty “Crystal Ball”, smiles and does a fist pump. He does a lap around the room high fiving the studio audience on his way to the podium. He arrives at the mic gives the audience a doubled barrelled Richard Nixon style peace sign and will now speak:

“Yeeeessssssssss Virginia there is a Santa Claus....that magnificent “Ball” has just confirmed it’s morning call, and is now predicting STRONG Market action this afternoon. I Rennick will go further and call on the Dow to set a new all time high today. This isn’t a prediction, it’s not a request, it is a DEMAND!!! So it is said, so shall it be!!!”

So there you have it, no need to wait...LET THE PARTY BEGIN!!!!

The Amazing Rennick has spoken.

 

here is a preemptive end-of-day-summary...





edit: anyone seen that Lightfoot fellow?

 

We were so close!!!
I want the names of the wiseguys who sold at the close, the names damnit, the names...