I want to express my thoughts. No other place better that my own freakin journal. I worked so hard over the last 5 years to figure out stocks, futures, markets, options and all the other financial junk that was out there.
I am so weak, frail, brittle... I have found the Truth & it makes me weak. I think I am having a moment of weakness, exposing myself to the mutlitudes. ah.. fuck going back and fixing typos. ahh... Life is indeed a struggle. You work so hard to be something, to be somebody to someone. But, for what.. for why? What exactly is what drives us.
I really have never LET myself out into the real world, I've always been so swelled up with thoughts. I just didn't have anyone that would be really interested in markets or I really didn't want to let anybody in on my thoughts. But, I still should be like that. Just because I know a lot doesn't mean I just just rupture and going around and exposing it to everyone. & it just won't be WORTH it to anyone. Yeah, all my years of toil and hardwork would be out the window and it is gone.. I must persist, still hold on to it. I must know that only my search is OVER, the hard part.. the EXECUTION part is only still in the horizon. I must find happiness within myself. I find evaluate me on myself. Not, on the nods and agreements or disbelief in others. I must be disbeliefing myself. I must keep on grinding it out.. keep on going... keep on going and make the work as great as I can. Only elude, or maybe never.. only till the journey is complete. You thought the journey is over, but.. you really have to step back.. hold your grips and realize that it is ONLY beginning. It is only BEGINNING.
Blew out again? Back to the corner you go. Stick with the gay prostitution. This way you can actually make money while losing your pride and dignity, as opposed to losing all three trading.
Plz folks. I can't even freakin vent a little on my own thread. The only goal this year is to finish in the GREEN. Put together my first year of positive trading. It would be great if I can get a 100% year. Will update at someother better time.
I saw the LIGHT : The Market is the only mentor and the Market is but a reflection of yourself. Thus, you must find the mentor within yourself.
Maybe your problem is that you "worked so hard to figure out stocks, futures, markets, options, and all the other financial junk...." ....uh, did you ever think to concentrate on one thing and maybe you'd have a better chance of understanding one?
welcome back to earth, on the average and if you are in this category then it take 6Y so 1 more year to go, if you are beyond average it might take even longer.