The Big French Challenge

Discussion in 'Politics' started by CrackPipe, Aug 26, 2011.

  1. CrackPipe

    CrackPipe Guest

    sure, a common remark Jake.

    However, it is my duty to point out that they are not doing this alone. The rest of Nato is also participating. If the french were left there on their own, believe me, you wouldnt be able to see the Libyan flag for white flags being waived by the french cowards. why, i bet most of them would have actually joined gadaffi by now had they the chance.

    you see, this is one of the problems with the french. they are so scared of anyone doing any harm to them, their country or their culture that they immediately roll over and surrender to anyone who dares threatten them, in exchange for them to be allowed to continue in their normal spineless manner that is so unique to the french.
     
    #41     Aug 31, 2011
  2. CrackPipe

    CrackPipe Guest

    1. Because they're losers
    Rugby matches played by England against France since 1906: 89. We've won 47; they've won 35. Draws: 7.
    2. Because they're aggressive
    Wars fought against France since 1066: 35. We've won 23; they've won 11. Mutual defeats: 1 (American War of Independence).
    3. Because of Napoleon
    200 French streets, monuments and institutions commemorate the era of Napoleon, the inventor of totalitarian dictatorship.
    4. And because of the Napoleon Complex
    While Napoleon was actually 5ft 6.5in tall, his aggression may have stemmed from "strikingly small, infantile and undersized genitals", as revealed in his autopsy. The organ in question measured 1.25in.
    5. Because they make love more than anyone else
    On average, that's 137 times a year; we only manage 119 times.
    6. Because everyone believes they're great lovers
    But when asked about Napoleon's love-making, French good-time girl Marguerite Josephine Weimer remarked that the Duke of Wellington was "beaucoup le plus fort". Today, just 23 per cent of French people are happy with their sex lives compared to 25 per cent of Brits.
    7. Because they love yappy dogs
    More than nine per cent of French dog owners have a poodle.
    8. But they won't clean up after them
    French dog owners refuse to pick up the 5,840 tonnes of dog-doo dropped on their streets each year.
    9. Because they're allergic to customer service
    In London eateries, it takes an average 3.4 minutes to get a glass of water once a waiter has been alerted; in Paris it takes 17.9 minutes.
    10. Because they're rude
    The "Paris Syndrome" is a medically recognised type of depression which afflicts foreign visitors, caused by the sustained rudeness of French people to outsiders.
    11. Because they can't wait
    Many French men still prefer the convenience of a trottoir to the public WC.
    12. Because they lack humour
    Before the Revolution, the French spoke of l'esprit (wit), or la farce (joke) but the word "humour" had no equivalent. Not until 1932 did the French Academy allow l'humour into the language.
    13. Because we've been allowed to believe that French women don't get fat
    Current diet books claim that French women are thin because they eat only fresh produce, and slowly. However, French obesity rates are exploding and one in four French women is on some kind of mood-altering medication. Of course they're not hungry – they're stoned.
    14. Because they do things the wrong way
    The French take more suppositories than the rest of Europe combined. In 2006, they shoved 235 tonnes of pharmaceuticals up themselves. That's equivalent to 1,850 Gérard Depardieus (approx.).
    15. That goes for their wildlife, too
    In 1998 alone, 25 million geese and ducks were force-fed in battery farms to make foie gras: the €20 hors d'oeuvre.
    16. Because they love Jerry
    In 1963, Jerry Lewis's The Nutty Professor was voted "Best Film" in France. Le Roi du Crazy, as Lewis is known over there, holds the Legion of Honour, traditionally awarded only to victorious French generals: pretty rare.
    17. And they hate Gerry
    In 2005, national treasure Gérard Depardieu announced he was leaving France because: "Only the British understand me… They have a great sense of humour. It is the French who are cretins".
    18. Because they think their cooking is the best in the world
    They boasted 26 three-starred restaurants in the 2005 Michelin Guide. However, the guide is a French institution. Could that be why the UK had only three? Coincidence, non?
    19. Because of their incessant wining
    Does France still make the best wine? Not if you go by the infamous Paris Wine Tasting of 1976, when an English wine merchant organised a "blind" tasting before a jury of French experts. To their horror, they rated Californian wines as winners in both the red and white wine categories. The French press first denied any tasting had happened, then claimed the results were fixed.
    20. You can't trust their wine labels either
    In one 2002 case, a Burgundian vintner got jailed for rebottling 4,000 hectolitres of Algerian plonk as a much more expensive Bordeaux.
    21. Because they took the cow pat… and turned it into a hat
    Well, that's what the beret is, isn't it?
    22. Because their legendary "Va Va Voom" is a lie
    They only spend an average 19.2 minutes on foreplay. The British take 22.5 minutes.
    23. Because 50 per cent of them don't even associate sex with pleasure
    And 23 per cent say they would be "relieved" not to have sex for several months.
    24. Because they patented the kiss
    In fact, there is no actual word for "French Kiss" in French. It is simply embrasser avec la langue (literally, to kiss with the tongue). Colloquially it is referred to as rouler une pelle (to roll the spade). Only in Quebec is it "frencher".
    25. Because they're big bullies
    The French shoot, poison, trap, crush, stuff and then eat almost anything smaller than themselves. Box-nets are laid down across the Aquitaine countryside to trap skylarks, while Languedoc hunters blast turtledoves out of the sky.
    26. Because the French health service is the best in the world
    However, during a 2003 heat wave, the French health services, rated as a "world best" by the WHO, failed to prevent the deaths of 16,300 elderly people.
    27. Because their country doesn't work
    Employers have to pay social security taxes equal to 48 per cent of each employee's salary, so they take on fewer people, and France's unemployment rate has hovered around 10 per cent for a decade.
    28. Because they get up our noses
    Forty per cent of French men, and 25 per cent of women, do not change their underwear daily – and only 47 per cent bathe every day (compared to 70 per cent of the British).
    29. Because they invented Sadism
    France is not only the birthplace of the Marquis de Sade but also of Renault's flirty series of Ben and Sophie "Eiffel Tower v Blackpool Tower" TV ads. Talk about torture…
    30. Because it's taken them a thousand years to admit we're better than them
    "The standard of life of the British is higher than that of the French," said M. le President Nicolas Sarkozy, in his 2006 autobiography. Finally.
    50 Reasons To Hate The French by Alex Clarke and Jules Eden (Quetzal Publishing UK)
    Share:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/features/3634345/30-reasons-why-we-hate-the-French.html


    .....and not one of you has come up with ONE reason to like them!

    pathetic.
     
    #42     Aug 31, 2011
  3. #43     Aug 31, 2011
  4. BO masking. :D
     
    #44     Aug 31, 2011
  5. Poutine is Quebecer. :D
     
    #45     Aug 31, 2011
  6. Lucrum

    Lucrum

    Oh I thought I was clear, YOU are a moron.

    The propeller he designed during WW I was only his first design, NOT his last. Most of his companies contributions to aviation were AFTER WW II.

    Born in France lived in France and died in France. Yeah he was French.
     
    #46     Aug 31, 2011
  7. I think you mean Quebecois. Just out of curiosity, why do you want to live in Canada? Why don't you go live in an Arabic nation? Don't you feel a bit out of place in Canada?

     
    #47     Aug 31, 2011
  8. Why would I feel out of place! I pay more taxes than you make in a year and I am rewarded for that!

    As for living in Canada, I have to answers for you;

    1- why don't you ask the same question to the hundreds of thousands of crackers who live in the UAE alone?; and

    2- Why don't you ask the same question to the millions of Jews who live in the US?
     
    #48     Aug 31, 2011
  9. So because they take lots of your money, you feel welcome? LOL! I can assure you that you're not. Most Canadians don't care for Arabs...

    Did you mean you have "two" answers for me? :D

    What's worse is that you didn't give my any answers, you just asked two questions.

    1- Crackers? What are you some kind of racist or something? If you hate white people so much, perhaps you should consider a nations besides Canada...

    I would ask the same question about the "crackers" in the UAE, but I already know. The Arabs pay them lots of money to come and operate their technology to pull oil out of the ground, and to manage their finances for them, since they are too stupid to do it themselves. If it weren't for the fact that Arabs pull oil out of the ground, no one would give a shit about that joke of a "civilization" and it would still be in the bronze age, like much of it still is.

    2- Why don't I ask that question about Jews in America? Because Jews are white westerners, so they kind of fit in in America, far more than an Arab in Canada in any case. Just curious, but if you hate j00z so much, why don't you obsess over Israel so much? Why would you ever want to live in Israel? So much so that you pretend that it's some imaginary nation called "Palestine", which doesn't exist, and has never existed?


     
    #49     Aug 31, 2011
  10. Lucrum

    Lucrum

    Funny, I was thinking the same thing.

    Plus he claims he's "rewarded" for his tax contributions. Does he mean welfare checks? :)
     
    #50     Aug 31, 2011