Poor Southern farm boy comes to town desperate to get laid. He goes to the town's whorehouse. Turns out he can't afford what he wants. Go see Granny down the road, they suggest, she's cheap. He goes to Granny. She has a glass eye she removes for him to use the orifice underneath. Satisfied, the farm boy pays up and takes his leave. As he departs, Granny calls out "Come back any time, boy! I'll be keeping an eye out for you!"
My wife watches me trade the open every day. And at the close she sees the results. What she hates is the apparently random nature of those results.
Old man leans over to wife in church and whispers "I just cut a silent fart. What should I do?" Wife replies smugly, "Replace your hearing aid battery!"
Art was apparently bored.... There is no fucking way an uninterested newbie would ask such logical questions, specially about the system lasting how long.... But thanks for the story... P.S.: Beside what deadbroke said....
Now that he's fcked it up real good, watch foolish Arthur trying to bribe her by buying her a grand piano instead of being wise and giving her an upright organ.
A 65 year old couple sat through a adult movie twice. They didnât get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night. âYou folks mustâve enjoyed the show,â the usher said. âDisgusting,â said the lady. âIt was revolting,â her husband added. âThen why did you sit through it twice?â the usher asks. âWe had to wait until you turned up the house lights,â the lady replied. âWe couldnât find my panties, and his teeth were in them!"
This thread is starting to remind me of this joke. Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?" "No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."
I failed to mention that the wife is no virgin. She has been position trading startup pharma and med equipment stocks for two decades.