Teaching the Wife to Trade

The Husband and Wife were riding a bicycle built for two one sunny afternoon. The Husband crashed the bike, and his wife landed in a ditch.

He ran to her and asked, "honey, are you hurt?!?"

She said, "I've got a huge gash!!!"

He said, "I know that, but are you ok?"

 

deadbroke's warped wisdom

Unconsciously every woman's sole mission is to bring a man to his knees. Once accomplished, the lion has been tamed and then is totally malleable and pliable. Where can this phenomena be observed? .... Anytown, USA

How can a man expect it to be any different? Women are, after all, in real life ALWAYS GETTING FCKED. How could any man expect them to be nice and cooperative when they are always getting the shaft?

But there is one way to defeat the scurge and keep her guessing, her mission to enslave you never complete, in limbo so to speak .....

Never tell her you love her. Do all the nice things, yeah, but NEVER SAY IT!!!

If you heed this, then she will even go the extra mile and flatten her head like that of a table-top for you to place your beer on.

 

Deadbroke's warped wisdom continued

the proof that unless you follow my instructions, she will bring you to your knees


A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, “No. These are for boys.”

The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy’s bike and says, “Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!”

But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, “Look, only boys have these and your mom can’t buy you one!”

The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to her bits, and proclaims, “My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want.”

 

Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

 

For NoDoji when she gives her husband a hard time for leaving the toilet seat up .....


What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

 

"Cold" you AREN'T married!

 

Clinton just had to meet her;
He thought that no one was sweeter.
They had sex on the phone,
And when they were alone,
They played games like "Swallow the Leader".

 

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before!

All his Friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful Beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”

“My darling,” she replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

 

The wife was watching me trade this morning. When I got stopped out I screamed "You fucking BITCH!" Of course she knew I was not referring to her, as she was down on her fat sweet dimpled little knees easing my tension in an apparently losing trade. "Why do you guys always call her Bitch Market?" "Do you know the difference between a cunt and a bitch?" "I'm not sure." "A cunt will fuck anydody. A bitch will fuck anybody but me."

 

NoDoji's THRESHOLD has been reached? Is this as far as I can push it? Beyond this it would be "bad karma" ?