Teaching the Wife to Trade

Man who drills it for 10 minutes may get more than concepts.

 

Free ass-ociating on your joke, sorry to reveal details of my twisted mind:

Man goes to tattoo parlor. "I want the image of a Ben Franklin twenty dollar bill tattooed wrapped around the head of my dick!" "Man, that's some cool shit! But whatever for?" "For the next time my wife wants to go shopping and blow a twenty!"

 

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 40th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 40 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to ___ your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

 

I went to the doctor the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, and drop-dead gorgeous! I was embarrassed, but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you in any way I can.” I said, “I think my penis tastes funny…”

 

A married couple go to a marriage counselor to work out some problems. The counselor sits them on the couch and says, “For starters, lets talk about something you both have in common.” The husband says “Well, neither of us suck dick.”

 

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”

She said, “You have the biggest penis of all your friends.”
:eek:

 

I'm sure Arthur is having the exact same thought .....

There's a new Sheriff in Joke-town, USA and his name is LEAPup.

Man he got the hang of it real quick.

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What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don’t do dick.

 

What do you call 100 screaming heavily-armed butch lesbians: Militia Etheridge!

 

Gotta love comedy! I'm sitting at the kids High School football game last Friday night looking around the crowd for funny stuff as my Wife says, "can't you go one day without pointing out silly things?" I told her, "well, your Mom didn't come to the game, so I have to scan the crowd for comedy."

I almost slept on the couch for that one...