I am well past the age at which death is no longer optional. I wasted ten years of my waning life seeking profitable index futures trading systems. Who knew it would take that long and cost so much? My losses would have fed a family of four in the Third World for a century. Anyway, my wife is younger than me, and no doubt will live until I am a faded memory recallable only through a photograph, perhaps gracing a younger man with her charms. But I am not bitter. I want her to benefit financially from my hard work after I am gone. So last week I sat her down with me and started explaining what I do. I even created a "baby" chart for Baby to use. You know, the essential one square inch on the display otherwise devoted to extraneous shit? Well, after a week she got it: "You mean when you enter a trade you don't even know if you'll WIN? And you lose THREE out of every four trades? And you don't even know how long the system will LAST? And you lose HOW much per contract when you lose? And you trade HOW many contracts? Is THAT what the fuck you have been doing with our money? Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! (runs off screaming and tearing tufts of hair out)." I guess she didn't really want to learn to trade.