Thank you for sharing the story. I think it was size the trade mistake. However like other members said, you always can make it back, may take time but you sure can. Maybe you need some time to take a break now but Please Don’t give up.
Man's search for meaning has been on my "books to read" list for a long time, but I have not read it yet. I did read "Auschwitz: A Doctor's Eyewitness Account and it was sobering. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/315578.Auschwitz
Hopefully you can find time to read it and it will provide some perspective. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and my hope is that you find meaning even in these challenging times.
not sure where you stand in this, but going to South America and drinking Ayahuasca was one of the most powerful/healing experiences of my life. Helped me get over busting a decent poker bankroll at the time.
You were retired for 18 years but as of 2018 had just $1m in a trading account, representing 100% of your net worth? How did you pay living expenses all those years? Were you just shorting vol for two decades with no tail hedge or meaningful risk control, dodged bullets in 2001, 2008, 2010 etc and your luck finally ran out?
I didn't start doing vol trade until 2016. I had 40% drawdowns in 2001 and 2008 and 15% in 2011. $1 mil is more than enough to retire with. (I can live modestly on 25k a year) I paid living expenses out of trading profits. I made 16% a year compounded for 9 years after 2009 (vs 15% for sp500). My position in Feb 2018 got away from me as my new broker did not have good risk assessment tools my old broker had. I had closed out 1/3 of my position before the crash or I would have lost 2.2 mil instead of 1.4 mil. My broker failed to close me out even though they knew I had 100% of my net worth in the account and had a 300k margin call, and my account had been cut in half in one day, vol was up 100% and DJIA was down a record 1175 points. They said "nothing out of the ordinary was happening" at the arbitration to warrant closing out the position. Then overnight the rest of it and 1 mil more was gone. THEN they close me out without even a courtesy call to see if I want to add more money. 5 minutes after they are done liquidating, the market soars up 500 pts and I would have had a +150k balance instead of -500k. You are right, I should just man up and end things. I am too old to start over. Nobody will let me ever trade again. My life is over. With my luck, they will probably not approve my bankruptcy.
OptionFool: WHAT IF your life is just beginning? Who knows how long any of us have here? If I could make one suggestion, take some time to consider how you can serve others.