THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! If you are 30 or older, you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what, with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning... uphill BOTH ways yada, yada, yada! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! *or the WORLD BOOK ENCYCLOPEDIA* There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! DONâT FORGET POSTAGE! There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances mister! We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed! Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your a$$ and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire.... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!!!!!!!!! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Oh yea, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes. Regards, The over 30 Crowd
I played Pong in college, that was our video game. My first VCR remote control was on a wire. My first hard drive was 10 megabytes and cost $200. And I use to "surf the net" on Prodigy. Harold
Even though I am under 30, I remember being four years old and able to sit in the front seat of my mother's car without being strapped into a monstrous car seat. The real "spoiled brats" are children of the 80s and beyond. They all have a sense of entitlement, that the world owes them something.
I can still remember the first time I'd thought I'd be a real smart guy and smack my mother for pissing me off, and I was only three. She beat the hell out of me and took all my toys out of my room and made me stay there for two days except to come out and eat or use the bathroom. It sucked. I never hit my mom again, and she never had me hit me either, I figured out damn quick that mom could go crazy on my ass if she needed too, this was of course before we where all told to turn our parents in for looking cross eyed at us.
I remember riding in my dads old pick up truck without wearing a seat belt - because there weren't any. I remember playing "army" or "war". My gun was a long stick. If I needed to go somewhere, I rode my bike. Or I stayed home. I remember when I had saved up $20, a lot of money for a kid my age at the time. My parents made me use much of it to buy a new pair of pants for school. I'm still pissed about it. I remember placing the entire phone handset into a modem - nearly the size of a shoe box. Porno was my neighbor's dad's Playboy collection. Except for my senior year, unless it was pouring down rain, I did walk to school, elementary, junior high and high school.
I was about ten or eleven, got a quarter for allowance. Me and my friend would ride our bikes with no helmets down to the corner store. A quarter would buy 2 bottles of pop @ ten cents each 2 cent deposit with a penny left over. We'd leave the store, shake the pop up, put our thumbs over the top and spray each other. This would leave us about a half a bottle of something to drink. We'd finish that, go back in, return the bottles for our .02 and buy some gum and ride off to the next adventure. Which usually ended up with one of us getting stung by a bee.
A few other things. I can remember when I was 4 or so and riding my bigwheel around town like it was a hotrod. My head was always down focusing on peddling and going fast. I got "run over" by the neighbor girl when she peeled around the corner on her bike. Broke my nose. My mom wouldnt bring me to the hospital, and I cried and bawled "If you really loved me, you'd bring me to the hospital" We compromised and she called my uncle Larry, a paramedic. Worked for me, next day I was back out on the bigwheel, head down, no helmut. I can remember the day that that Airplane crashed in Sioux City, Iowa too, coz it was my biggest crash ever. My friend Andy Nath and I had set up a ramp at the end of his gramma's driveway. Again, head down, focusing on the peddles I hit the ramp, not paying attention that the garage door was coming down. Slammed right into it. I ended up with a concussion, mom did bring me to the hospital for that. But I lived. Only time I guess I ever did something with the police, but I dont remember this. My dad said I was about 5 or 6 and really pissing him off, he told me something like "I could just kill you right now Brandon", and he said by the time he turned around I had my ass out the door and was running. When he finally caught me he asked what the hell I was doing, I said I was gonna go to the police station, it was the only thing I could think of to do. He spanked me and sent me to my room. I really don't remember that one, but I didnt get hit a bunch. In fact, I can only remember two or three times that my dad spanked me, but after that the threat was more than enough to shape me up. Hell, still wouldnt screw with the ole man, and he is 62 now. I can remember when David Espland got a sega. He was EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONEs best friend for moths. Everyone hated David before he had that Sega.