I am now actually much more relaxed , as I now realize that I have the chance of free choice. Seeing here how people kind of "force themselves on others" is a real eye opener about what false relationships are all about. It looks in a certain way very desperate, and I am very glad to simply choose only authentic relations. . Now that I will drop the backpacking ways of travelling, I will obviously concentrate more on exploring the NGOs in each new place. This is a very good way of meeting people, in an authentic way - only meeting volunteers who have been at an assocation at least one year before my arrival. . This trip is about enjoying myself via authentic encounters - not about falling into the traps of "staged encounters". GoodBye to crappy assholes procedures. I realize I really enjoy my first week in this city, when all the Peace Corps Volunteer were in meetings here. Most of them had been here for quiet a while, and it was so pleasurable to have real and authentic meetings of new people. I realize that the assholes have absolutely no care about trying to create artificial and false "encounters". To be honest, I hope they realize they are damaging their "customers" or "hired people" as well. The pollution they introduce by trying to "force encounters" , is just shameful. But I am glad that my first week experience showed me what joyful encounters are : those actually really "inspired by God". I will be meeting some of the Peace Corps returning volunteers next week . I am very glad , when we understood some people were "sent here", that I simply made the choice of respecting myself by staying clear of "staged encounters" whenever the coach pointed out these are "staged". They are better off cleaning up their database. But may be it is good for them to have as many names as possible.
I have a very difficult subject to explore. Psychology, dating laughing and physical ugliness. . Seriously, when I got the theme of the psychology/spiritual work, I just blurted out laughing.
My earliest memories of ugliness, was about one daughter neighbor, who was really in all objectivity, the ugliest kid the whole city must had ever seen, and I am not joking. LOL. In our country, people have a way of being very , how can I say, "extrovert". I remember that her mum would always take one of us with her, as if she went alone to the shops with her daughter, people would simply mention to her "what type of person is she to go and have ugly kid like that?". LOL. Now, 6 years ago, when I went to visit the family, I was stunned to see the ugly duckling now turned into a perfect 10/10. . Everybody was now asking her advice! LOL. It was a little excessive as she now would not go out without at least 3 hours of "physical appearance preparation", and she was investing on average 6 hours a day on her "appearance". As a nurse, she was a hit at her hospital!!!! Now, obviously, people could say we were cruels. Looking to it, even nowdays, "ugly duckling" are indeed reminded in no uncertain ways they need to work on themselves.
Now some people are going to be shocked by this cultural characteristic : it is actually expected and encouraged to laughing and really making disparaging comments to the parents, AND to the kid about her extreme ugliness.
Let's be honest guys. Imagine you make the mistake of being entered in blind dates ( something absolutely not recommended), and this is the woman . Obviously she had to go through arranged dates, as she has some "issues" . <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/h37prKMkj2Q?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Be honest : how would you react when she seats at the dinner table ? . You are not allowed to escuse yourself for 30 minutes! In the experiment you can't make a runner! LOL.
Actually I am going to find out how the locals here would react! Let me remind in case some people self-identify, I am working on "psychology/spirituality", not targetting any individual in particular ( even you! ) . So in advance PEACE.
I think I will also ask the gals opinion on how they think a Lad - would react - should react - could react. Studying perceptions, expectations and how the brain really works.
before going, one pal's has a losing trade of less than -9%. This is a no no no. All the other one - including the losers are perfect, and specially the -0.1% trade ( ) . Keep going. .
Basically the answers are consistent from the lads and the gals. And if you are honest yourself you know what a lad would do, should do and could do. The human normal reflex is to smile and laugh. This is actually normal. Now, what if you saw this same woman in a hospital that does surgery for say victims of terrorism ? The human normal reflex is to feel sorry for the woman, and ask this woman if she wants you to do that or that for her ... I did not know that the Philosophe Aristotle actually already pointed this out : "People do not laugh at someone's ugliness without a context". "A guarranteed way to create laughter is to mix ugliness AND surprise". This is actually at the core of the art of clownology ( the art of 'clowning'). Now looking at our ugly duckling neighbour, now a beautiful swan, the context was obviously assuming the mother was an unfit mother ( getting pregnant in insuitable situations, unhealthy nutrition, or physical beatting, mistreating the kid in unknown ways ,... ). If the woman had been at the hospital of say deformed children, nobody would have made any comments charged with laughter, as the hospital context means the mother is doing something about the problem. Slightly different context for the daughter - aka " why aren't you bothering and pestering your parents about your physical appearance so they can sort it out ?". âPeople do not laugh at someone's ugliness without a contextâ Really like in trading : price doesn't move without a context - what would the price do? - what should the price do? - what could the price do ?
On a deeper level, apparently, the reason people who are objectively ugly get laughed at - even ugly children- is they project the negative feelings that they do not want to sort themselves out and are willing to put themselves in situation of ridicule. Hence the human reflex of laughter get triggered. This is actually what a clown spectacle is all about : an ugly person preferring to put themselves in a situation of ridicule instead of sorting themselves out. In a certain way taking the easy road of avoiding doing their own work - facing their own mirror and sorting themselves out. More it goes and more I realize that the root of problems in pychology/spirituality is always someone not doing the work on themselves at a moment or another BUT wanting someone else to take their mental/psychological/spiritual problems. Looking to this theme of psychology, dating, laughing and ugliness is really opening my mind.